The day before the election, I had my uterus yanked. The only way these two things are related is that, when I got home on Election Day, despite the fact I was drugged out of my mind and could not stand up straight and was beyond exhausted, I waited up to hear the returns. When Jon Stewart called it at around 11, it was so early I thought he was kidding. I double checked with CNN, found out he wasn’t kidding, and dragged my sorry ass out onto the front lawn where I stood doubled over—for about five seconds—banging a large spoon on a big frying pan. I was that happy. Then I collapsed. more ›

October is fast drawing to a close, which means it’s about time for me to rip another page off of the huge, desk blotter calendar that sits on the floor next to my office chair. Each month when I do this, I pause for a moment to look over how many squares have activities written on them. The answer this month is—as with most— all of them. I did so many things this past month that even I’m amazed. The list is too long to offer in full, but among other things I did the following: performed four weddings; went to three concerts (Jonathan Richman, Magnetic Fields, Ray Lamontagne); attended the Austin High School homecoming football game (I love marching bands!); turned in two final edits for book manuscripts; pitched two new books; finished knitting a pair of socks; wrote several million blog posts; visited an organic chicken farm; watched Annie Get Your Gun; smashed my car into Warren’s car in the driveway causing $400 worth of damage (okay, that wasn’t scheduled on the calendar, it sort of just happened); and dealt with the death of my son’s beloved ’93 Cadillac. Oh yeah, and I voted. more ›

In March 1997 a doctor said to me, “Your jeans are going to fit a lot better once we get that out.” So tactful. The that to which he referred was a cyst-morphing-into-a-tumor that had wrapped itself around my left ovary. This was discovered at a post-abortion checkup. I paid cash for the abortion. The removal of both the tumor, which as it turned out had malignant cells in it, and the ovary (the two could not be disentangled) were covered by insurance. Luckily, I required no chemo or radiation. I don’t recall that my jeans fit any different when all was said and done. more ›