Burma continues to adopt China's interpretation of "restraint" when it deals with protests. President Gen. Pervez Musharraf continues to be the bee's knees of Pakistan with the recent ruling from Pakistan's Supreme Court. Jena 6 Defendant Released on Bail. Holy crap! The FDA is understaffed and overwhelmed. Laura Hall's attorney asks to be replaced in order to appear as witness for the defense. If Gov. Rick Perry lives outside Austin city limits, are we... more ›

The FDA approved Plan B as an OTC drug for women 18 and older; the Christian Right looks on in horror as chicks across the nation head out to slut it up. An American woman is about to become the first female space tourist. Tourism: that's where we are Vikings. Apparently, being hipper-than-thou won't save you from laptop explosions. Apple's recalling batteries, just like Dell. Rescued POW Jessica Lynch is pregnant. In perhaps unrelated... more ›

Ironically, the day the Statesman does a (somewhat trite) story on personal trainers and client success stories from around the Austin area, Dr. Daniel Ladd of the Austin Skin Institute endorses the revolutionary Velasmooth. The FDA recently approved the technique, which uses a combination of radiofrequency energy, infrared light and deep tissue massage to send more oxygen to deprived tissues and smoothe out your fat ass. Apparently, the treatment smoothes out all of those unseemly dimples on the fleshy landscape of your thighs, butts and hips and is even said to reduce a few inches off your ghastly girth. Umm…sounds great. Or you could just mix in a treadmill and a bag of peeled baby carrots, we guess. So, take your pick: 5am workouts with personal trainers at $50+/hour* or 30 minutes of infrared laser massage for temporary results? See ya on Town Lake. We’ll bring the carrots. more ›