Oh my gosh, y’all! Have you seen the news? All these Tea Party people are, like, storming Town Hall meetings hosted by Democrat representatives, and getting all up in their grills, and screaming at them that health care reform is turning us into Russia. Clearly these protestors have not had the pleasure of a bottle of Stoli and a night with Natasha—as have I—hence their poor view of our Soviet comrades. But before you go getting all pissed off at them, let’s just stop for a minute and hear them out. I think maybe they have some valid points, which is, no doubt, why they are making these points so LOUDLY. So we can hear them! Now, you might say, Spike! Are you off your nut? To which I respond, Not at all. See, I have spent the better part of the week in Midland, TX, hometown of George and Laura Bush. And, as a temp resident of the La Quinta Inn out on I-20 in Midland, not only have I been drinking the agua, I’ve had the benefit of complimentary morning lobby waffles in the shape of the Lone Star State and the pleasure of Fox News being blasted from the TV as I waffle-munch. And you know, from what I’m hearing from the Foxy anchors, sounds like this Obama fella is trying to pass some sort of sinister program that is going to, among other things, insist that we euthanize the aging baby boomers asap. more ›