• We still need a few drinks before doing any kind of karaoke, even if our jobs depend on it. Several employees at a Vietnamese Oil Company are being punished by their employer for not participating in the festivities. Perhaps they just hadn't gotten to the Jager shots yet.
• The Texas French Bread on 29th and Rio Grande is feeling the effects of a raid on illegal immigrants. Several employees were arrested, some deported. Some documents provided might be related to an alleged false-document ring from Dallas.
• Austrailian women seem to significantly outnumber their male counterparts in the region so women are shacking up in an effort to fill that void. Our suggestion to local men: consider moving to Austrailia for some hot Aussie love.
• The OLN's broadcast of the Stanley Cup Finals game 1 drew less viewers than an obscure colege women's softball game. Those women playing softball must have been some sexy bitches.
• In Fort Lauderdale, a group of students discovered a real dead body as they were participating in a crime-scene investigation exercise with their class.
• Several Albertson's grocery stores in Austin are closing as a result of their unprofitable status. Werd to the HEB.
  more ›

• We know all you 12-year-olds like to see the girl-on-girl action. And we're thinking that Batwoman will certainly help facilitate any one-handed reading, especially with her resurrection as a lesbian by DC Comics.
• Former Libertines singer Pete Doherty was searched on suspicion of drug posession at a Barcelona airport on Thursday, but the search turned up...nothing. Go figure.
• The Stanley Cup Finals are upon us, with Carolina and Edmonton duking it out for the win. Let's have a pint for the Oiler's fans- God knows they aren't getting any.
• Our favorite Guess Jeans model Playboy playmate gold digger Anna Nicole Smith is expecting.
  
  
• Katherine Smith always gets her way. The 18-year old is being accused of spiking a peer's drink with bleach because she wanted, not just any role, but the lead role in a school play.
• AMD is stepping up to the plate. The chip-maker is launching a new laptop chip that, among other things, will prolong battery life.
• Some Dutch pedophiles are launching their own political party. On their agenda: reduce the legal age to have sex from 16 to 12 or just get rid of it completely, permissable child pornography, pornography on daytime TV and, of course, beastiality. We'd call in sick to work to watch those "soaps". more ›

Vince Young has caught a lot of flack for hiring Major Adams, a family friend, to be his agent. One of the few cool people paying attention to the Stanley Cup Playoffs? There have been a couple surprising wins in round two of this series. We hope it stays this exciting. A flea market in East Austin, popular among Mexican immigrants, erupted in chaos when it was thought that the Immigration and Naturalization Service... more ›

The Austin Ice Bats will host the National Hockey League's Stanley Cup at the Travis County Expo Center Saturday night. The Cup will be on display during the Ice Bats' game against Wichita, and fans may bring their cameras to take their picture with the Cup. The Cup will be available to the general public starting at 6:30pm. It's also Guaranty Win Night as the Ice Bats play the Wichita Thunder of the Northern... more ›