Bush still thinks No Child Left Behind is working. Please, keep your scoffing down to a dull roar. Male Israeli soldiers no longer get to have tons of free sex with random semi-willing subordinate women. Curse them crazy feminists. Girls wear hot costumes for Halloween. Feminists bitch. Researchers have put all of Darwin's notebooks online. If you don't care, you should, you simian. Some guy with a bunch of tattoos won "Project Runway."......

Every state in the United States has failed to meet Bush's already low standards for the No Child Left Behind Program. Apparently. there isn't enough of a demand to get those gas-guzzling, extravagant SUV's; GM is nixing the original Hummer. Hideki Matsui's streak of 1,768 consecutive games played (US and Japan leagues) ends. Will Wynn and Brewster McCracken were both re-elected in this weekend's election. The Senate reached a delightful conclusion regarding School Finanace......

Amidst heavy speculation, Steve Jobs reveals Apple Computer's newest gadgets ... It's still unclear whether Dick Cheney is suffering from ailments of his foot, heart, knees, or conscience. Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton claims hundreds of US soldiers died in Iraq because their body armor was simply inadequate The Governator reveals the cause of his big fat lip Bush attributes rising test scores to No Child Left Behind act Now the American College of Chest......

The Austinist grew up with Sesame Street. We could even say we survived on it, and there are still VHS tapes of old recorded episodes in our parents’ house. So when we heard about the proposed budget cut for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, we were more than a little appalled. Fortunately, public broadcasting won a reprieve yesterday as the House voted (284-140) to restore the $100 million cut to the $400 million budget.......