As we scourged all the theatre listings this week, endlessly digging for all the dirt on all the shows in all the venues from all the companies in all of Central Texas, we realized…there is no spoon. There’s also practically nothing opening this weekend. But never fear, dear theatre goer, there’s plenty, plenty of shows that are still running from previous weeks that – if you haven’t already seen them – will forever haunt......

There's some fresh blood in Austin's theatrical waters. Our first instinct was to round them up in our pickup, blindfold them, and spank 'um real hard with cricket bats. But that's been done. Instead, we bring you news of the very first production -- ever -- by The Vestige Group. Fat Pig, a play about a good looking guy who falls for a woman who, according to "society's norms", he shouldn't have been attracted......

As we walked into Hyde Park Theatre for a chick & a dude productions' production of Neil LaBute’s The Shape of Things – a dark, pseudo-intellectual piece about destructive relationships – we were immediately overwhelmed by the unfortunate set. Brightly colored walls adorned with a few haphazard, meaningless “shapes” (get it – like The “Shape” of Things). Oh shit, we thought. Sadly, this first observation would come to encapsulate the bulk of our experience......

In honor of our nation’s Vice President, Dick “Whoops that was your face” Cheney, and the hullabaloo surrounding his little "accident", we bring you this week’s theatre listings in the style of a Scott “Funny as a heart attack” McClellan press conference! We were going to bring you these listings yesterday, but were too busy pretending that A) no one would notice B) global warming is “just a theory” and C) God created us......

Just because you were highlighted by American Theater Magazine as one of the country’s Hot, Hip, and on the Verge performance companies, or the Austin Chronicle called you Best Theatre for a Fresh Look, or you’ve been nominated for four B. Iden Payne Awards (and counting) – does that mean you can officially resign yourself to the hallowed artistic halls of pretentious slacker-dom? Apparently not. We wandered over to the Blue Theater this past......

Outside of it being the second-to-last week of Frontera Fest(!), things have taken a turn for the traditional here in the A-burg. Now’s your chance to get out and see theatre that actually looks and sounds like real life – instead of some weird, alternate reality where people scream a lot and pee on stage. (Note to reader: if you’re like us, and enjoy weird peeing plays -- never fear -- next weekend brings......