As we move to the next square on the calendar you're still out there trying to make a connection. Sadly you let most of them slip by without saying a word. We understand, no one wants to be overzealous and get shot down. If only you had some place to find a second chance. Oh yes, Missed Connections. If only you had someone to sort through and find the best of the above. Oh, right, read below....

Photo from SpikeG.com Spike Gillespie presents Quilty As ChargedTuesday, November 6BookPeople (603 N. Lamar)7pm, Free[info]Local raconteur Spike Gillespie has been a favorite of ours for a long time. Easily the hardest writing writer in Austin, the moxie-mad Gillespie stole our hearts with the annual Kick Ass Awards ceremony she holds on her birthday. She isn't one to hold anything back or censor herself. Her "dot-novel", a completely free book, opens with the phrase "donkey-cock," and......

Fun Fun Fun Fest is just around the corner and today we feature Kevin Barnes and his merry gang of electro-pop connoisseurs that comprise Of Montreal. Barnes has garnered infamy this year thanks to his shenanigans, but synth-powered melodies and instantly catchy chorus’ remain his focal outlet. The wonderful folk at Polyvinyl Record Co. have provided us with the band’s brand new video, “Gronlandic Edit” off this year’s Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer?......

In yesterday's Austin Arts blog, Jeanne Claire van Ryzin posted about a B-Scene party-goer who took the Blanton's new performance/video exhibit, Mike’s World, a little too seriously: Convinced that our computer age means more lounging around in a private utopia, ‘Mike’ conceives of a multimedia information kiosk that admonishes everyone to ‘Take Off Your Pants!’ After all, you’ll be doing nothing but sitting around in your underwear at the computer anyway. And so to augment......

One last go-round for Zeppelin seems to be in the works. We sort of thought they were all dead. "Why, Britney...why?" Hey, don't ask us. We stopped watching MTV a long, long time ago. Interesting article about doctors that gave an elephant LSD for reasons that aren't exactly clear. If you go swimming in Lake LBJ, you might want to...not do that. Another medical study suggesting that political leanings might actually be attributable to......

The seasons will change and young lads will grow older and deeper with regret, but Perry Farrell will still be churning out the alternative rock. It’s nice to know that some things are constant. The ex-Jane’s Addiction, ex-Porno for Pyros, Lollapalooza co-creator is bringing the celestial shindig Satellite Party to Emo’s Friday night, along with New York pop rockers Mink. Farrell and team come with their pockets full of uplifting celebration and a sound......

Rain, rain, go away, we need to mow the lawn someday?! Aww, who are we kidding. We weren't going to mow it anyway, thank goodness the rain gave us a great excuse. There's way too much internet to surf and music to be heard to be working. Although we would like to go back outdoors at some point. Until then we'll just keep searching CL to bring you the best of last week's Missed......

Graham Reynolds' Golden Arm Trio will be performing at the Mohawk on Saturday night in support of the new album, no doubt full of the experimental power-jazz you'd come to expect from a group that Rolling Stone has called "a merger of John Zorn's Naked City and the 1970's radical-prog band Henry Cow. In case you weren't aware, Reynolds has worked on film scores (most recently, Linklater's A Scanner Darkly), symphonies, operas, and children's......

City officials have turned away FOX's crapfest viewer-favorite Cops, which was supposed to start filming here very soon. A couple years ago, Travis County Sheriffs were featured on the ultimate reality show (and plan to be on the show again), but Austin officials aren't allowing APD to get involved with it. While some in the Austin Police Association are disappointed, it may be best that America is spared seeing another half-naked drunk person being......

We're OK when television networks choose to curb the amount of gratuitous "adult" content in prime-time programming, but we've always figured that such stuff, within reason, was fair game on cable networks. After all, Comedy Central has a sketch comedy show starring a naked trucker, FX's Nip/Tuck once had one of its stars engaging in gross raunchy sex with a mother-daughter duo, and Fox News regularly gets away with putting Bill O'Reilly on the......

From the beginning of Time, it is said, carrion-eating birds have often been the bane of existence for many. Arabian legend tells us, for example, that the Bedouin of the desert have long seen the arrival of vultures as ill-fated prophecy, portending naught but certain doom. So too it is has always been for cowboys on the range in our home state of Texas, who have always associated circling buzzards with certain death and calamity.......

We open in Sparta, a place which apparently exists only to breed dick-dancers/warrior-boys. An ironically peaceful place, all things considered. They don’t explain where their women come from, but they do explain that if you’re a retarded, tanned, or six-fingered baby, you get thrown down into a big pit by some old guy, right in front of your mom. She won’t want you either, because you’re a goddamned mutant. Like Hawking or FDR....

Valentine’s Day may be over, but that doesn’t mean the love has to end. If you’re looking for a special way to celebrate with a partner/friend/whoever – and benefit Amnesty International while you’re at it – may we suggest attending the next Burlesque for Peace event this Saturday, February 17th? This year’s theme is “Black Tie Burlesque,” and prizes will be awarded for the best James Bond, Bond girl, and Bond villain costumes. The......

Who among us hasn’t stood half-naked in front of a full-length mirror, knees bent, head back, one arm extended toward the heavens, the other windmilling furiously to the stomping rhythm of “Uptown Girl”? Okay, okay—maybe you’d pick something that actually has guitar in it, but that’s your hang up, not ours. Commie. Anyway, for those of us who dream of rock stardom, but don’t have the time or the inclination to learn an instrument,......

Like everyone in the world but the U.S. has recognized for a while, global warming causes the new Katrina-caliber hurricanes. Today, disconsolate producers at Dateline find that their war on predators has missed the Taliban of pedophiles. Not saving any money? Don't worry, nobody else is either. Al Franken is maybe/probably running for Senate in Minnesota. Not to be gross, but: Harry Potter. Naked.......

So that’s my plan for 2007: to sweat like a motherfucker. Laughing, fist-pumping. In bedtime comfort. Dancing with you. ...

As 2006 ends and 2007 begins, the -ists look back not at the past week, but at the past year. So here it is, your Best of 2006 Spectacular. And from all of us at the -ists, happy New Year! Austinist was all about controversy as new construction to increase urban density ran rampant in 2006, as did threats to the city's image from gigantic corporations looking to set up shop in town, leading......

Happy Holidays! Chances are, you're reading this the day after Christmas, back at your day job after all-too-short a holiday, and the last thing you want from us is stuff about the holidays. But that's just too bad. Because, see, here in the Ist-A-Verse, we do things ahead of time. It might be December 26 for you, but that's what you get for not checking your Favorite Local Blog on Christmas Eve. Austinist is......

Classes have ended at The University of Texas and winter is finally here, the time when girls trade short skirts for sweatpants and guys replace short-sleeve UT shirts with long-sleeve UT shirts. For the students at UT Austin, it's been a pretty tough year. West Campus construction has kept them up all night, their football team choked, APD won't let them party as hard, and now, starting tomorrow, it's final exam time. Where do......

The first-ever Fun Fun Fun Fest is this Friday, December 1st, at Waterloo Park. Over two dozen great acts are on the bill, including Spoon, Peaches, The Black Angels, Prefuse 73, and DJ Mel. Tickets are $20, and can be purchased online. Quintron and Miss Pussycat perform on the Austin Fuzion Stage/Tent at 6:50 p.m. -- The Editors How is the tour going for you so far? Great... even though we have broken our......

We'll be mostly offline through the rest of this week to spend the holidays with our families. Happy Thanksgiving, Austinites! WEDNESDAY [22] film • "School House Rock" Sing&Learn-Along at Alamo Downtown (7pm, $10) film • The Syrian Bride at Congregation Beth Israel (7pm) film • Be Here to Love Me at Beerland (7pm, Free) film • A Woman Is a Woman at Spider House (8pm,Free) film • Moulin Rouge at Rounders Pizzeria (8pm,Free) film......

I thank yous for your comings here to Austinist! Very happy you stay! You read more to learning of glorious moviefilms for offerings! *Borat There's something for everyone in this film. Unless you're actually a homophobic, misogynist anti-Semite, in which case you might be someone in this film. Driving Lessons Yes, it's true: Ron Weasley Rupert Grint is stepping out of his comfort zone and doing some "acting." Listen, Rupie, call us when you're......

Call us smut snobs, but we never could get into the fake blonde hair/fake tan/fake boobs look that has dominated the world of pornography for the last couple decades. Maybe it has something to do with having a hard time finding the real beach blonde underneath, or maybe it was just that we wouldn’t have given said beach blonde the time of day anyway – nor, let’s be honest, would she have had much to......

Listen up ghouls and goblins, it's time to choose your costumes and prepare to find some connections of your own. Choose your costume wisely, as it very well might determine your connection options. No one wants to go home with the free mammogram guy, as funny as it may seem at the time of creation. While you wait for the glue to dry, you can check out the best of last week's Missed Connections.........

Because most performance companies create their budgets on a fall-to-spring season, September and October generally see hordes of productions by our local theatre-makers chompin’ at the bit after a summer of relative tranquility. With the B. Iden Payne nominations and Austinist’s own Best Theatre in Austin picks officially announced, it’s time to leave 05/06 behind us, and head charging off into new theatrical waters. (Or something.) This week’s Austinist Pick of the Week is......

*This post comes from Guest Contributor Kerry Skemp* Beyond a vague yet fascinating physical resemblance (no, really), George W. Bush and Norman Mailer have little in common. The former represents all that is evil in the world (or all that is good, depending on who you talk to), and the latter represents the fact that our country used to offer journalistic investigations of a type that didn’t begin and end at Gawker.com. If you want......

No place is off limits for some good old-fashioned Russian sex. American children are slacking...or not slacking enough. Bring on the video games and Cheetos! We're tired of looking at all y'all's nasty, funky, Disney-character underwear, too. Liberal Vermont is frowning at the naked teens hanging out in the parking lot just exercising their rights. Entrepreneurs are generally considered to be overconfident, hence their willingness to take risks.......

Alright. Gloves off. We’ve been snarked on in the past for flippantly referring to productions at the Vortex as “naked theatre”. Taking that into consideration, we’d like to bring to your attention some “adults only” (read: probably naked) theatre opening this weekend. Bell(e): The Museum of Suicide Machinery is a “mesh of performance art, visual installation, experimental theatre, and sound montage” from Austin’s purveyors of the out-there-experimental, Ethos. Anne Marie Gordon designs the scenery......

Dao Strom, a fixture of Austin scenes literary and musical, has a new collection of four novellas from Counterpoint Press. The Gentle Order of Girls and Boys: Four Stories presents the sturm und drang of becoming and being a woman in contemporary America. Featuring road trips, themes of isolation, and naked strangers, The Gentle Order of Girls and Boys promises to keep readers rapt. Dao Strom, author/musician/wonder woman, will be at BookPeople tonight to present......