[The following is an editorial column by contributor Alison Coffey and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Austinist staff. --The Editors] In the tradition of Neal Pollack's Salon.com Grammy's post, I've decided to take us on a live tour of this year's Academy Awards, minute by minute, hour by hour, boring acceptance speech by boring acceptance speech. Well, I hope not, but odds are, the acceptance speeches are going to be boring.......

You might feel lost and confused and out of place in this conservative, W voting, war loving society (well, half of it), but just remember this next time you are thinking about a one way ticket to Canada: Jon Stewart is hosting the Oscars! Y'all, did you hear us? Jon Stewart! Something has to be right in the world. We don't pretend to be experts, but our predictions are: Best Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman......

Ahhh, it’s that time of year again – can you smell the celebrity sweat in the air? Oscar time, baby! The 78th annual Academy Awards will air March 5 on ABC. Plan your party now: gather your friends together, don your Oscar de la Renta (that was kind of a pun, see?), break out the Dom Perignon Andre and the brie, place your bets and watch the magic unfold. The absolute best part about......