Kind of a slow week for new releases here in Austin. You can either bro out and get amped on some new Die Hard, or submit to the CGI summer blockbuster force that is Ratatouille. Oh, and Michael Moore wanted to talk to you about some things. Live Free or Die Hard: John McClane is back! Now shorn bald (and resembling a very stern penis), he must jump off careening jets and donkey-punch the......

It's the Orange-Hat Bike Messenger guy, or the Saturday Hatha instructor at YogaYoga South. It's one of the Lone Star Rollergirls, or the red-haired guy who works the counter at the Whole Foods. It's your local secret crush....