A few tasty offerings today, including: Edward Norton in a cowboy hat! Vince Vaughn and Jen Aniston - omg, will they get back together in the end?? And hey, guess what - planet Earth is totally f*cked! *An Inconvenient Truth Last week we were a little confused about this film's release date, but we've confirmed that it does in fact open today. Not a moment too soon - the oceans are rising! Former presidential......

Celebrate, it's Memorial Day weekend! You most likely have plans to float down a river, or swim in a pool, or have your rich friends take you out in their boat, all while getting exceedingly plastered and forgetting about your soul-sucking day job.* Good thing, because film pickin’s today are slim and, well, strangely international. Most of you are probably wildly anticipating the release of X-Men Part Trois - one Austinist editor was so......

Hallelujah! The day the Catholic Church and all of its minions have dreaded for the past few months (or maybe years, who knows what kind of secret prophecies they’ve got locked up in the Vatican – riiiiight??) has finally arrived. No, silly, there hasn’t been a discovery of ancient scrolls written by Jesus himself proclaiming the benefits of condom usage. Birth control and personal responsibility are still just as sinful as ever. We’re talking......

*The Devil and Daniel Johnston A Portrait of the Artist as a Manic Depressive. Excellent documentary. Mission: Impossible III Earlier in the week we were challenged to make it through this without mentioning the word 'placenta.' Nope. An American Haunting Sissy Spacek is, like, totally goth, y'all. Ok, we'll bite. As long as you hold our hand. Celestine Prophecy You (and your mom, and your aunt and the woman next to you on the......

Toby Keith would watch at least one of these movies... *Akeelah and the Bee It’s hard to make fun of such an earnest, lesson-filled film that stars Laurence Fishburne, Angela Bassett, and an adorable little girl. All we can really say is, she best win that motherf*cking bee. United 93 Nothing says “America” quite like capitalizing on the lingering sentiments created by recent national tragedies. *Stick It From the geniuses/idiots who created Bring it......

We're just gonna get down to it, y'all... Silent Hill Yeah. Because this movie is totally necessary. At Last We're mentioning this one because it's our duty, but here are some terms randomly selected from reviews of the film: self-indulgent, charmless, embarrassing, paper-thin. Make of that what you will. *Friends with Money "See, Brad?! Do you see now?! I don't need you and your stupid pretty face! I'm FINE! I've got a career, I've......

*Awesome: I Fuckin' Shot That The Beastie Boys gave hand-held cameras to 50 fans at a show at Madison Square Garden then MCA edited the footage for this unique concert film. Hard Candy The presumed-innocent prey of a photographer on the internet who lures the 14-yr old into meeting up to discuss a photo shoot turns the tables on the would-be creep and exacts some pretty serious revenge. Di.sturb.ing. Scary Movie 4 After patiently......

A few highlights from this week's new movie releases: Bruce Willis is back! And he shoots guns this time! David Spade plays a nerd, just to mix things up! If the South had won the Civil War, would Toby Keith be campaigning for governor (oh God, we just vomited)? Film noir is great for teens! And Antonio Banderas teaches the youth of America that ballroom dancing can get you plenty of play! Lucky Number......

A surprisingly hefty offering of new releases today! Trim the fat and take our recommendations to heart, won't you? Basic Instinct 2 It's not possible for us to care less about Sharon Stone's latest attempt to "get back in the game," as it were. You can already download the "sex" scenes from the internet, but honestly, why would you want to? It's like voluntarily searing your own retinas with white-hot needles. *Ice Age: The......

Slim pickin's today, friends. You can either choose a movie starring Oscar winners/nominees (which of course doesn't guarantee anything), or you can go with movies that cater to the lowest common denominator. Which is apparently pretty damn low these days. *Inside Man Denzel Washington, Clive Owen, Jodie Foster. Kudos, Spike Lee, for making a movie with one fine-lookin’ cast. (*Ed. Note: We saw a sneak preview of this movie and really enjoyed the nuances......