I wonder: why wouldn’t the APD drug cop and the data miner want the world to know what they’re up to? They’re heroes, after all! Cleansing our streets of the dreaded indoor weed farmer. They should be proud. They're like The Punisher and Microchip....

Hugo Chavez called Bush a "racist, imperialist devil" at the U.N. yesterday. How unoriginal can you get? Check out a porn site, get a virus. Virtual reality has truly made great strides forward. A freaking motorcycle rollercoaster. Latest eminently adoptable Japanese trend: trophy husbands. Cameron Diaz says a photographer tried to kill her when she was leaving a party with Justin Timberlake the other night. No, it's not funny. A world without JT would......