Okay, so last week I was waxing philosophical on the holiday-inspired urge to maybe off oneself. This week, in the interest of being just a little less dreary out of respect for you goofballs that wear flashing mini-Christmas light necklaces to the office and get off on the whole White Elephant crap, I’m offering up some suggestions for Those Who Insist on Enjoying the Goddamned Holidays. But first, you must listen to what has inspired me to be ever so slightly less curmudgeonly this season, and no, it has nothing to do with watching The Grinch or It’s a Wonderful Life. Instead, two other things—one deeply personal, the other crassly commercial— drive me this year. more ›