According to a climatologist at Austria's Central Institute for Meteorology and Geodynamics, Europe's Alpine region is going through its warmest period in 1,300 years. John Bolton has decided to leave his position as the U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. before he is removed. Lake Travis is at a 42-year low for the month of December. It sounds like Illinois Senator Barack Obama likes New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's chances in the 2008 presidential......

We are saddened by the report that goober candidate Carole Cougar Keeton Strayhorn has decided to relinquish her fight to get her nickname on the Nov. ballot. Mrs. Cougar will always be a "grandma" in our eyes and probably in the eyes of her grandchildren. In other goober news: Democratic candidate Chris Bell is calling UberGoober Rick Perry out on his lack of efforts to fund our state parks. Texas ranks near the bottom......

New York Senator and 2008 Democratic “It Girl” Hillary Rodham Clinton has recently introduced a bill into the U.S. Senate that would link Congressional wages to minimum wages. After cryptic political legalese, the “Standing with Minimum Wage Earners Act” (S. 2725) attempts to make Congress think twice before upping their pay. Co-sponsored by liberal all-stars Obama, Kennedy and Kerry, the act would raise minimum wage to $5.85/hour 60 days after the bill is enacted......

Amidst heavy speculation, Steve Jobs reveals Apple Computer's newest gadgets ... It's still unclear whether Dick Cheney is suffering from ailments of his foot, heart, knees, or conscience. Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton claims hundreds of US soldiers died in Iraq because their body armor was simply inadequate The Governator reveals the cause of his big fat lip Bush attributes rising test scores to No Child Left Behind act Now the American College of Chest......