We're running a little Twitter contest from now until 1 p.m.: Tweet us (@austinist) your best beautiful, idiotic, or otherwise nonsensical haiku for a chance to win a pair of weekend passes to Fun Fest plus a pair of spots on our VIP guestlist for Friday's Local Music is Sexy party at the Mohawk and Club Deville. Rules: include "#funfest" so we can find your haiku, and at least one of these phrases: "beer", "mechanical bull", or "Rick Perry". The responses thus far have been stunning. more ›

Too hot to write long Contemplative thoughts today Instead: Haiku lite! Triple digit trip Me up triple digit trip Me up. Fucking heat. Barton Springs Night Swim is free but in this damn heat they could charge millions. Legal bare breasts catch The eyes of teen boys, old men And hungry babies. more ›

To begin, I want to re-stress that the stories were/are supposed to be sent to truecraig [at] austinist.com. I’m stressing this because this first one was sent to another address of mine and it got caught in a spam filter. Mere luck had me locate it. Come to think of it, it may not have been meant for use here at all, but after reading the email, it certainly fit what I’m looking for, so whatever [yet another comma] it's included. more ›