Getting married ruined Free Sex in Public for me. Let me explain. Back in the late ‘90’s, I was dating an asshole we’ll call George, since that was his name. George would do things like ask me to come over and help him pack for a trip and he’d leave condoms out on top of his suitcase for me to find. Now why, you might ask—and I most certainly asked —would he need condoms for a trip on which I was not joining him? Well George was one of those guys who liked to give the speech that goes like this, “Babe, we’re above that monogamy crap. We’re beyond it. We’ve evolved.” What he meant by that was that every time he went to Chicago, he would be banging his so-called ex but that if I so much as attempted to have a platonic lunch with a male friend he would threaten to break up with me and/or kill himself. Very evolved, George! Later, after we finally finally FINALLY—oh Thank you Baby Jesus!—really did breakup, two major things happened....

Local writer Spike Gillespie (along with a dozen of her closest friends) has been holding forth on the subject of wookin pa nub in all the wrong places. The Dick Monologues run once a month at Hyde Park Theater. When we walked in, there was a sea of women with tiny plastic cups of red wine. Any trepidation over being surrounded by that many sleeveless tops quickly dissipated as the raucously hilarious women (and......

WEDNESDAY [14] music • White Ghost Shivers Valetine's Day Party at Scoot Inn music • Bigwood, Street Light Suzie, Sedium, The Ivory Class at Emo's Lounge music • The Stags, Future Clouds and Radar, Radar Radar, The Strange Boys at Emo's music • Kitty Kitty Bang Bang Valentine's Day Party at Stubb's music • Anti-Valentines Day Second Halloween Party at Beerland music • Jimmie Dale Gilmore at Cactus Café (8:30pm) music • People Skills,......

Couldn't score a table at Aquarelle? Arby's not going to cut it with your sweetie? Why not try a little Free Sex in Public this Valentine's Day? Whoa, whoa, you've got it all wrong tiger. Pull those pants up! Please refrain from actually fornicating in the streets this Valentine's Day. For the seventh year in a row Austin's literary wonder woman, Spike Gillespie, will assemble her unusual cadre of poets, musicians, amateur psychotherapists and friends......

MONDAY [12] benefit • Everychild House Party 2007 at Stubb's ($25/$10 Adults/Children) books • Quincy Troupe presents The Architecture of Language at BookPeople (7:00pm) film • Texas Music Museum presents "JAZZ," a six-part film/discussion series with Dr James Polk at Austin Public Library, Carver Branch (7pm) film • Darkon: The Movie at Alamo Drafthouse Downtown film • Half-Cocked at Alamo Drafthouse Downtown food • Central Market Cooking Class with Chef Vance Ely: Gentlemen Entertain:......

Our comprehensive theatre guide can be found here M O N D A Y [13][film] Ralph Nelson's "Tick…Tick…Tick" at Drafthouse Downtown (7pm) (link) [film] Alamo Music Mondays presents "Fela Kuti: Music is the Weapon" at Drafthouse Downtown (9:45pm) (link) [comedy] "Richard Pryor Live in Concert" at Drafthouse South Lamar (10:15pm) (link) [film] "Coachella" at Drafthouse Village (9:45pm) (link) T U E S D A Y [14] [party/music] The White Ghost Shivers Valentine's Day Ball at......