[The following is an editorial column by contributor Alison Coffey and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Austinist staff. --The Editors] In the tradition of Neal Pollack's Salon.com Grammy's post, I've decided to take us on a live tour of this year's Academy Awards, minute by minute, hour by hour, boring acceptance speech by boring acceptance speech. Well, I hope not, but odds are, the acceptance speeches are going to be boring.......

Ahhh, it’s that time of year again – can you smell the celebrity sweat in the air? Oscar time, baby! The 78th annual Academy Awards will air March 5 on ABC. Plan your party now: gather your friends together, don your Oscar de la Renta (that was kind of a pun, see?), break out the Dom Perignon Andre and the brie, place your bets and watch the magic unfold. The absolute best part about......

Another week, another steaming batch of new movie releases. What’ll it be, folks? Big Momma’s House 2 Martin Lawrence, your pigeonhole is waiting for you. *Nanny McPhee The new Mary Poppins - only uglier, and with more children. Starring Emma Thompson and brooding hottie Colin Firth. Supposedly this movie is doing very well in the UK. We could make a joke about unattractive British people here, but we’re far too classy for that. Annapolis......

For what it's worth, the Golden Globe nominations were announced this morning. We like watching the Golden Globes; they are so laid-back and relaxed in comparison to the pretentious Academy Awards. Of course, they don't always choose the same winners . . . Babe won the Golden Globe for best musical/comedy the year it was nominated, after all. And while Jennifer Garner has won a Golden Globe, she has yet to win an Emmy......