Ha – I know, I know. You look at me and see a whirlwind frenzy of globetrotting and peanut serving, ocean-hopping and lavatory monitoring. I can't imagine how glamorous this game of intercontinental hopscotch must appear. Left foot, Belize; right foot, Miami. Left foot, Shanghai; right foot, New York. Well, with a layover in Chicago. And we generally switch posts at that airport because it's a hub. You get the picture. ...

The Onion (Grand Master Onion)Austinist got a chance to swap sarcasm with Chet Clem, The Onion’s Editorial Manager and one of many fine writers for their newest hard-covered print offering: Our Dumb World: Atlas Of The Planet Earth, which is an atlas bursting with humorously doctored images and witty insights into our little Earth (as it has been politically divided to-date by drunken Brits). We asked Chet about The Atlas, his affinity for dated pop-culture,......

If you would like to hear about how our country rocks and why spying on us Joe Schmoes is necessary, then at 8pm tonight, be sure to tune to the basic networks for El Presidente's State of the Union address. KVUE (ABC), KXAN (NBC), KEYE (CBS), KTBC (FOX) and even KLRU (PBS) will be showing Bush's speech (and offering commentary afterwards). **Editorial Note: While we would never encourage listening to W. pontifuhmuhkate about the......

Tomorrow night at Headhunters, A&E will be filming exciting girl-on-girl pudding-wrasslin* action for a new reality show. The TXRD (Lonestar Rollergirls), who have been the focus of A&E’s cameras all season, will be providing the action. And trust us, we have been to a few parties where some serious Jell-O wrestling* went down and can say, quite simply, it is hot fun! Have you seen these ladies throw elbows? If so, who is your......