So, it is the middle of the week and you are just now leaving your bland, cubed-in day job, and you're thinking, "Man, I wish I had something rockin' to do tonight, you know, like a disco/spandex/musical/biblical allegory party to go to....." Well, dear reader, you may not believe it, but you are in luck, because tonight at 11:59pm, The Apple is going to change the course of human life. Sure, we have a tendency towards hyperbole, but this time we are serious. Made by the same geniuses who brought us Over the Top—yeah, the Sly Stone trucker arm wrestling extravaganza—The Apple is the 80s musical version of Adam and Eve, only with more glitter. And hair products. And terrible singing....