Beginning of the end? First baby boomer files for Social Security. The Rockies are going to the World Series. No, not the Rockettes. The Rockies. The South is thirsty. Not metaphorically. China is, like, the only entity in the world that doesn't love the Dalai Lama. Greenpeace says the iPhone is toxic. Small boys rejoice: a giant new dino has been found in Argentina. Led Zep finally gets with the program.... more ›

Oh, the humanity! Welcome to the one weekend a year where you can see a biker mama on every block sporting a midriff baring halter top and leather chaps; however, this woman will bear a striking resemblance to the woman who birthed you . Pair that with inhaling noxious greenhouse-effect-inducing fumes and having your eardrums wailed on like a red-headed step-child and suddenly paying $8.25 to sit in a cold, dark box doesn't seem... more ›

FRIDAY [1] party • Rare Magazine Summer Issue Launch Party at Mean Eyed Cat (5:30pm) bikes • Republic of Texas Biker Rally at All Over Austin dance/benefit • Project Transitions Hosts 12th Annual Texas Swing at Saengerrunde Hall and Scholz’s Beer Garten ($40, 8-Midnight) art • Opening Reception: Cantanker/us, the Cantanker Magazine staff show at Else Madsen Gallery, 411 Brazos, Suite 99 (7-11pm) art • The B Scene at The Blanton Museum of Art,... more ›

We want to urinate on tourists, too! What ever happened to throwing spitballs? Maybe that's just what they call it these days. Aggressive Evangelicals which is probably redundant are going to try to convert Buddhists during the Dalai Lama's visit to Chicago. ...speaking of Evangelicals...Bible classes could soon be an elective at public schools. We think electives in Voodoo and Wiccan should have similar opportunities. If you love your animals, you'll cook gourmet meals... more ›

Celebrate, it's Memorial Day weekend! You most likely have plans to float down a river, or swim in a pool, or have your rich friends take you out in their boat, all while getting exceedingly plastered and forgetting about your soul-sucking day job.* Good thing, because film pickin’s today are slim and, well, strangely international. Most of you are probably wildly anticipating the release of X-Men Part Trois - one Austinist editor was so... more ›

Nelson Mandela. The Dalai Lama. Mother Theresa. Mother Nature? Scuttlebutt around the internet and news services is that Mother Nature will be named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year. After a year of tsunamis, earthquakes and a record-breaking hurricane season, editors at Time seem prepared to name Mother Nature the POY. Some sites are even placing odds on who/what will win. And, Time wants to hear from you on whom you think it should... more ›

For those of you who wanted to hear the Dalai Lama speak later this month and thought you might saunter up to the Texas Union box office sometime this week to pick up tickets, guess again! The free passes are all gone, and how. From our friend: I was talking to this girl at work, and she said people started lining up at like 12 in the morning last night, and at 3am they... more ›