We would entrust our very lives to Dakota Fanning. So precocious, so talented—we always have high expectations when she's involved in...anything. Dakota, please take this plane down in an emergency landing. Dakota, please lead us to new civilizations and maybe even the Fountain of Youth. First, (chick) rock this corset out like a glam/punk goddess and do it in a way that makes Cherie Currie bow down to you in awe on the Paramount stage. (That last one actually happened.) Based on Currie's memoir, Neon Angel, The Runaways charts the short life and strong bond of the teenage, all-American, 100 percent female rock band that Currie fronted and Joan Jett started back in 1970s Los Angeles. The film is music video director Floria Sigismondi's first feature and screened as a SxSW Headliner on Thursday before it's theatrical release this weekend. more ›

How much did the Emmys hosting by reality TV hosts suck last night? A. lot. Yay! Sentences can again include the words 'Britney," "Come," and "Back" again without grossing us out! OMG, hot torrid man-passion between Zac Efron and James Franco??? A cursory glance at this headline and you'll be saying, "Maybe." Are you kidding us? Because, "What? Eww, no!" OMGLOLZ I CAN HAZ ROFLRAZZI? KTHX! OMG EFF U MILEY RAY CYRUS! We're all about HEROES! (Please be good, please be good, please don't suck...) Wicked catchy headline we want to repeat in a sort of sing-songy lilt, over and over: O'Reilly Blasts Hackers, Hackers Hack Him Back more ›

Rejoice! This day is finally here! The day we have all been breathlessly waiting for since, oh, around the time we now call “The Dance of Psychosis That Is Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’s Great Love Affair” began. Not that we buy into media hype, of course. Because their love is REAL and PURE and MAGNIFICENT, not to mention sanctioned by the upper echelons of Zorbit IV-OA. Or something. Come on! Spielberg! Cruise! Aliens!... more ›