Results tagged “carlykocurek”

Taylor Mills Lullagoodbye (Aquapulse) There’s a new safe word being grunted out of S&M dungeons everywhere, and it is Lullagoodbye. It means slow down, ease up and take fewer risks. Although the album mostly lies within the boundaries of uninspired adult contemporary, at times her voice is filled with smooth, sometimes-sultry melody and a graceful piano whispers like a bedtime story. Then, there’s the added bonus of looking at her staggeringly attractive mug on every...

The following is a column by staff writer Carly Kocurek, compiled with the help of Elizabeth S., Sam Armstrong, and Shannon Roberts -- Ed Note So, you've waited until the last minute to address the whole "Valentine's Day" situation. Trust me, I've been there. In fact, I'm there right now -- my grandmother will be getting a card from us sometime next week. (I'll put extra stickers on the envelope to make up for...

We missed that whole “Black Friday” thing (post-traumatic stress symptoms related to a former life working retail), and the holidays are creeping up faster than a cheer-stealing Grinch in a dogsled. We’re sure that some of you, dear readers, find yourselves in a similar boat. But, before you start snapping up pre-packaged bath sets at Target, check out Austinist’s very special recommendations. We’ve sorted through some of the sparkliest surprises available locally and on the...

Walk in any sex shop in Austin, and you’ll be confronted by a bevy of “educational aids,” “adult novelties,” and “personal massage devices.” Call an in-home sales rep and you’ll be offered a plethora of “marital aids.” Sex toys still circulate; they just go by different names.

This past weekend, while I was visiting my family, my mother busted out an inherited cocktail ring. You have to understand, my upbringing was more 10k gold than platinum, and if we’re being perfectly honest, more cubic zirconia than diamond. We just didn’t do jewelry. We just didn’t do luxury. In part because we couldn’t, and in part because, as my parents continue to assert, “We aren’t those kinds of people.” But, now there’s this ring. This ring was inherited from my great aunt, who was a bit more drinks-with-dinner than the rest of us, which might justify the need for such a ring.

Sometime this year, you’ll be able to buy a phone that will breathalyze you. Disappointingly, the phone only breathalyzes you to let you know whether or not you’re good to drive — features that let you block your ability to drunkenly dial your ex or make ill-advised booty calls after a few rounds are available as add-ons.

[The following is an editorial column by contributor Carly Kocurek and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Austinist staff. --The Editors] The first time I saw The Graduate, I just cracked up when Benjamin took Elaine to the strip club. Because it was a joke, right? But, then, I watched Taxi Driver, and while I realize that Travis Bickle is batshit crazy, the fact that he leads Betsy into a grindhouse bothers...

I refuse to believe in karma. Don't get me wrong, I think it's a lovely idea. I would love it if the guy who ditched me to spend a summer in France had his heart run through a meat grinder by some minx with an accent. I would gloat if the neighbor who lets his dog shit all over the lawn of my apartment complex stepped in dog excrement, then got into his car, inadvertently smearing it all over his floor mats. I would find it deeply, truly comforting if men who catcall at women walking down the street alone were routinely hassled by menacing people wearing thick-soled shoes. Should the man who told my friend he was no longer attracted to her because she had “put on a little weight,” suddenly balloon to the size of a manatee (perhaps due to some glandular disorder), I would just feel better about the world. But, these things will not happen. They won't. There is very little justice in the world, and there is even less karma. In particular, karma does not exist in the world of sex and romance.

[The following is an editorial column by Carly Kocurek and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Austinist staff. --The Editors]

Beginning this week, Austinist will be introducing several new columns written by various contributors. These columns will run the gamut from thoughts on television (which you have already come to love) to dipsomaniac observations and the like. These posts will be spoken in the first person singular by the individual contributors and do not represent the thoughts/opinions of Austinist as a whole. Today, we introduce "Candy and Flowers," from contributor Carly Kocurek. In "Candy...