A pair of tiny abandoned ducklings found battling against waves after being washed out to sea are being nursed back to health - in a teacup. Weekly World News Closes Its Doors (Not Alien Related) Deerhunter Hunted at Gunpoint After Gig: "They Took My F*cking Camel Lights" Texas = Doomed: Perry Assigns Creationist to Board of Education Spoiler Alert: Rowling Gives Details on What Happens After the Book's Epilogue......

*The views expressed in Truesday are those of the author and do not represent Austinist as a whole. Thank heavens.* -The Editors If you look at life as little more than the process of tissue oxidation, then there’s nothing particularly negative or cynical about viewing most vices as harmless escapism; more a road of diversion rather than a path of destruction. For the vast majority of my cognitive life, this is exactly how I’ve......

*self-promotion warning* Austinist Co-Editor Matthew Odam will be a guest on "The Benjamin Carter Show" tonight (we think that's what they said, we really have no idea, as we were too busy putting together our rider, which included a massage table, a keg of Goji juice and a carton of Camel Lights), a "late-night" style talk show on Texas Student TV (the UT student-run network). We're assuming Leslie backed out, or something. We have......