Two months after I moved to Austin from the bleak and boring state of South Carolina, my car broke down in a parking lot by my house. After spending 2K fixing up my car to get it here, that was the last straw. The doors still didn’t close right, the driver’s seat was no longer attached to the car, it’s never had heat or air conditioning and it stunk; I was done. It did smuggle me out of Scare-olina to save my soul from being doomed to a fate of driving a potato chip delivery truck, getting married way too young, having barefoot children with names taken from my favorite daytime “stories” and only finding comfort in getting blind-stinkin’-drunk while watching the Saturday afternoon auto racing event, and for that I’m grateful. ...