Results tagged “boobs”

It wasn’t until we saw the troupe that we finally understood why people had mourned the death of vaudeville and the end of the era where burlesque was a popular public amusement. Before seeing the Jigglewatts, we’d never really gotten the entertainment value of boobs before. Yet those girls converted us!

Sometimes boobs need some help staying healthy and happy, which is where you come in. Tonight is your chance to painlessly support the Breast Cancer Resource Centers of Texas. You can do it by drinking. At a bar. Something that you just might be doing anyway. This evening is the kickoff event for Opal Divine’s “Drink Pink” Campaign benefiting the Breast Cancer Resource Centers of Texas. This fundraising campaign will run throughout the summer at all Opal Divine’s locations.

Not long after I hooked up with Warren, my young hot boyfriend, he introduced me to the lovely, talented Audrey Maker. Audrey puts together burlesque shows around town. Which is how I wound up, last fall, as a volunteer at the Texas Burlesque Fest, a sold-out, over the topless, two-night celebration of boobs. I got to work the Undressing Room, hanging out with beautiful women (and some men) in various states of undress, asking them if they needed anything. Warren had the more exciting job of Panty Catcher. Outfitted in a Super Hero costume enhanced with a big, bright pink, crocheted cock, he served a function similar to that of the ball boys and girls at Wimbledon. Each time an act finished, Warren dashed onstage to retrieve thongs, gloves, corsets, fishnets, etc. to clear the way for the next act.

Getting married ruined Free Sex in Public for me. Let me explain. Back in the late ‘90’s, I was dating an asshole we’ll call George, since that was his name. George would do things like ask me to come over and help him pack for a trip and he’d leave condoms out on top of his suitcase for me to find. Now why, you might ask—and I most certainly asked —would he need condoms for a trip on which I was not joining him? Well George was one of those guys who liked to give the speech that goes like this, “Babe, we’re above that monogamy crap. We’re beyond it. We’ve evolved.” What he meant by that was that every time he went to Chicago, he would be banging his so-called ex but that if I so much as attempted to have a platonic lunch with a male friend he would threaten to break up with me and/or kill himself. Very evolved, George! Later, after we finally finally FINALLY—oh Thank you Baby Jesus!—really did breakup, two major things happened.

Rush Hour 3: Don't Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker look dismayed to find themselves in the third installment of their never-ending Rush Hour franchise? If you find it hilarious to watch a BLACK GUY and an ASIAN GUY fighting crime--together!--then look out, because now they're fighting crime in France, the funniest place in the world! Which one of them do you think will be eye-rolling and making fish-out-of-water quips while dangling from the Eiffel Tower...

Feeling awash in connections? Underwater with a number of dates? Social life raining good karma? Then perhaps we're not the place for you. Although, if you're having a dry spell this might be the oasis you've been seeking. We've rounded up the best of last week's Missed Connections, so put on your rain suit and take a look... MC with the F'ing SUN! Rain is good. It fills our lakes, rivers and aquifers. It...

Call us smut snobs, but we never could get into the fake blonde hair/fake tan/fake boobs look that has dominated the world of pornography for the last couple decades. Maybe it has something to do with having a hard time finding the real beach blonde underneath, or maybe it was just that we wouldn’t have given said beach blonde the time of day anyway – nor, let’s be honest, would she have had much to...

Like fake boobs and dyed hair, fake Ohio State vs. Texas tickets are out there to ruin your day. Clay Aiken of American Idol fame just might be President Bush's new pet. Former President Clinton is getting a pimp ride, a custom Mercury Mariner Hybrid surely outfitted with features that rival the Batmobile. Ladies, ladies. Your high heels are a death trap. A man's gun accidentally fired while he was in a Wal-Mart bathroom....

A recent study reveals that college graduates are often bored at work. Case. In. Point. MTV is celebrating its 25th anniversary. We're guessing there will be much reminiscing about the time when they actually played videos. If only we were this ballsy in high school. Marijuana gumballs are going to be the next big thing. Golf is not exercise. We are fairly certain that it is actually the cause of man-boobs. Only in Oklahoma...

That bitch that cut you off almost swiping the side of your shiny car wasn't drunk. She was gossiping on her cell phone. But she might as well have been drunk. Check out some proposals for Austin's largest public art project and tell the developer what you think. Who knew that Disney World was such a dangerous place? A judge in Oklahoma, was insecure about his own sexual performance behind the bench. He was...

Watching a Friday the 13th movie sober is kind of like going swimming with your shoes on--no fun at all. Watching a Friday the 13th movie without the musical accompaniment of Austin sleaze-rockers Honky--well, we don't really have a good analogy for that one, but no worries because Honky's exuberantly trashy rock and roll is exactly what you'll find along with beers, blades, boobs, and blood (not necessarily in that order) at the Alamo Drafthouse South Lamar screening of Friday the 13th, Part 3 (in 3-D!), tonight at 10pm. Formal attire optional.

As spotlighted in our "Weekend Music Guide," this Saturday, August 20th, Emo's (603 Red River) and the Yuppie Pricks invite you to slip into your waterwear and celebrate good music, cold drinks and wet boobs (yeah, that's right, we said it) at their 3rd Annual Beach Party!

OMG, we are so late writing our weekly recap of The Real World that for a while we were considering not even doing one. I mean, how relevant is a recap once the episode has been aired three hundred and fifty times? But then we realized that this episode has another few thousand runs in it's lifetime, which means that our grandchildren will probably be watching it on their Lazer Vision 8000-X Holographic Brain...