Todd Rundgren is the Costco of Rock'n'Roll. Every genre is represented. You want sweet ballads? '70s love songs so marrow-deep you know them unconsciously like you know Christmas carols? You need man-cock rock tight enough to split your spandex? Some Eastern Intrigue-chakra rockin' prog synth that makes Coheed and Cambria sound like the Jonas Brothers? So much psychedelia you can actually see Fantasia in your mind?... [continue]

The best way to efficiently kill a chicken, as far as I know, is to lop off its head. Next best is to break its neck. Neither method appeals to me. I don’t eat chickens—I certainly don’t want to kill them. But when one is an urban chicken farmer, as I was off and on for years, one stands the risk of having to take out a bird now and then. Chicken execution proved to be necessary with my flock last fall when I got a call from Starsky, my then roommate, informing me that the dogs had gotten into the chicken pen. Of my four birds, one was dead, one was hunkered down trembling, one was missing, and a fourth was flopping around, no hope for survival. I was at Warren’s house at the time. We were early into our relationship and he’d already witnessed enough drama—for being incredibly popular often comes with a component of frequent high drama—that I feared enlisting his help might be some last straw for him. I got off the phone and faux-bravely announced I had to run home and slaughter a bird and I’d be right back. ... [continue]

Heavy Metal in Baghdad has amassed a considerable amount of buzz in the run-up to its US debut at SXSW tonight. The film follows Acrassicauda, the only heavy metal band in Baghdad, from the fall of Saddam Hussein in late 2003 through December 2006. We spoke with Suroosh Alvi, one of Heavy Metal’s directors, about his experience shooting the film in Iraq.... [continue]

It has been almost eight years since the last episode of the Upright Citizens Brigade aired on Comedy Central. But beginning well before the series took to television—from its roots as an improv and sketch comedy troupe in Chicago to the opening of the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatres in New York City and Los Angeles—the Upright Citizens Brigade has been in the process of constructing a comedy empire.... [continue]

The Long Center opened this past weekend for perusal by the general public. We’re happy to report that the new/old building has a sleek modern aesthetic that nicely alludes to the center’s mid-century past. That's not surprising, as lots of parts from the original structure of Palmer Auditorium were recycled and re-imagined into the new, two-venue, $77 million-dollar space.... [continue]

Before we let Texas fade off the political radar for a while, let's take a look at the Texas Democratic elite who will likely have the final say in who their nominee for president will be. ... [continue]

Martin McDonagh's The Lonesome West, now playing at Hyde Park Theatre has nothing to do with Marfa or Alpine, so don't let the title fool you. Set in an Irish village where murder, suicide, and alcoholism are as common as eating and breathing, the play centers on two brothers who spend just about the entire show pissing off each other in increasingly creative ways. Compared to The Pillowman (which played last year at HPT), Lonesome West is almost sitcom light.... [continue]

Following tonight's performance of Troades, the Vortex is hosting a reception in honor of Sean T.C. O’Malley, composer of the show's original score. // Every Wednesday night in March, all seats for Speeding Motorcycle at Zach are $15! // The Heroes of Comedy's Improvised Shakespeare, Saturdays at 8pm at the Hideout, is so popular that they had to extend the run through the end of March. // Mortified is back!... [continue]

So, I produce and co-star a little show called The Dick Monologues. We have four shows this month—three more than usual. Two are in Dallas this weekend at the Water Tower Theatre as part of the Out of the Loop Festival. Two are here in town—one at the Victory Grill on March 21st and the other at Hyde Park Theatre on March 30th. Please tell your Dallas friends to come to the show up there. And if you want to attend an Austin show, please email me at spike@spikeg.com for info. This week, I present a piece I wrote that sometimes appears in the show. Big Dick on Buddha Mountain To meditate with the enlightened Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, is akin to playing guitar with Pete Townsend, making cookies with Martha Stewart, or tying your shoes with Mister Rogers. And so, despite my tight budget, when I heard that Thay, as he is known, was leading a retreat in California, I did what any overzealous aspiring Buddhist would do: I mailed off a hot check to procure my place at the monastery. ... [continue]

The world's just not as much fun as it used to be, what with all the global warming, credit crises, genocide, and other assorted world events that get us down, bum us out and convince us that, yeah, totally—the sky is falling. Thank goodness for Joe Hartman's new one man show, Overwhelming Underdogs, in its second strong week at Arts on Real. Hartman's writing and acting, Kirk German's directing, and maybe a glass of wine from the in-theatre bar is the perfect antidote to thinking about all that other stuff.... [continue]

Admittedly, the Democratic delegate selection process in Texas is ridiculous, especially to casual voters who don't hold a particular allegiance to either candidate—or, in this case, the exact type of swing voters that each campaign is now clamoring to bring to the polls next Tuesday. ... [continue]

I spend very little of my time or money in corporate America, preferring to shop mostly at independent merchants. I also try to only buy things made in countries where it wouldn’t be horrible to be a worker, like, say, France or Sweden. This means not only going to independent merchants like Toy Joy, or Karavel Shoes but looking at where the things they sell are made. It’s actually kinda exhausting. It’s the kind of retail therapy that might send you into therapy.... [continue]

Hyde Park Theatre brings us Martin McDonagh's The Lonesome West. Think of the brilliance of True West, but without the monotonous fuckin' crickets. Th-Sa @8pm through March 29. Tickets online. // Based on Euripides' Trojan Women, Troades at The Vortex explores life for the women of Troy following its decimation at the hands of the Greeks. Th-Su @8pm through March 29. Reservations: 478-LAVA.... [continue]

The other night, Warren—my hot, cocky, young boyfriend—came over after work to pick me up. As soon as he arrived, I popped a Vicodin. I love Vicodin. I love it for many reasons. First of all, I am in my ninth year of not drinking, if you don’t count the three times I accidentally ingested booze hidden in food (hint to teetotalers: watch out for that sake laced mussel broth at Uchi, people) and the sip of Kahlua I had mixed in a coffee one night at Jeffrey’s. (Aside: For the record, Spike is not one to frequent places like Uchi and Jeffrey’s. Really. Those were special occasions.) I also haven’t had any pot, if you don’t count two hits in Mexico, December ’06 (and no, I did not inhale), since the late nineties, when I needed hourly bong hits in order to maintain my “relationship” with the bikini-underpants-clad cheater I mentioned last week. So, like, nearly a decade ago.... [continue]

Former Austin mayor and current Texas State Senator Kirk Watson made an appearance on MSNBC last night after officially endorsing Senator Barack Obama. When asked by Chris Matthews to list just a few of Obama's legislative accomplishments, Watson looks stumped, and then only manages to respond with a weak, 'Well, I am not going to be able to name you specific items." From the Huffington Post: But he was unable to answer Chris Matthews... [continue]

As the growth of downtown continues to explode, so does the need for commuter friendly alternatives - enter the bike. Granted nothing new, but with Lance Armstrong's recent unveiling of plans for a commuter biker shop, he really is bringing biking back. According to Armstrong: "This city is exploding downtown. Are all these people in high rises going to drive everywhere? We have to promote (bike) commuting."... [continue]

Getting married ruined Free Sex in Public for me. Let me explain. Back in the late ‘90’s, I was dating an asshole we’ll call George, since that was his name. George would do things like ask me to come over and help him pack for a trip and he’d leave condoms out on top of his suitcase for me to find. Now why, you might ask—and I most certainly asked —would he need condoms for a trip on which I was not joining him? Well George was one of those guys who liked to give the speech that goes like this, “Babe, we’re above that monogamy crap. We’re beyond it. We’ve evolved.” What he meant by that was that every time he went to Chicago, he would be banging his so-called ex but that if I so much as attempted to have a platonic lunch with a male friend he would threaten to break up with me and/or kill himself. Very evolved, George! Later, after we finally finally FINALLY—oh Thank you Baby Jesus!—really did breakup, two major things happened.... [continue]

Death and the King's Horseman is a complex drama based on a true story. When an African king dies, tribal tradition dictates that his horseman commit suicide in order to guide his leader to heaven. But a British colonial ruler stops the process, causing "disruption of the cosmic order of the universe and thus [putting] the wellbeing and future of the tribe in doubt" (Wikipedia). It's heady stuff, and we have no doubt this production will be thought-provoking and intense.... [continue]

Meanwhile, both Obama and Clinton are pulling out all the stops to appeal to our state's Hispanic population, which account for as much as 25% of Texas' eligible voters, according to the Pew Hispanic Center. Obama today launched a Spanish radio ad (mp3) stressing his humble working-class roots. Each campaign is also spending upwards of $1 million on TV ads that began running this week.... [continue]

Apparently, though, when other people hear the word wrestling, they think of something entirely different. They think of big scary men and faked-breasted women, the entire lot of them sporting spray-on tans, dangerous smirks, and very stretchy articles of “clothing” as they hurl each other around inside of a ring while thousands of mesmerized spectators, many of them apparently just having raced on over from Walmart and/or on furlough from Fashion Prison, scream their approval.... [continue]