Tough Love: Can Texas Survive The End of the Aggies/Longhorn Era?

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You may remember scenes from your childhood television viewing when the creators of some of your favorite cartoons came flying through the third wall, interrupting your regularly scheduled mayhem and comedic violence to explain how, for example, the Coyote needs to chase after the Roadrunner as much as the Roadrunner needs to be chased, and if one party ever truly, finally succeeded, the results would be far less satisfying than you might imagine, bringing the whole technicolor ecosystem into panic. It's all some sort of precious, 1984 or 'circle of life'-derived interpretation, and depending on how ponderous of a kid you were, you either loved or hated these episodes. It's probably fair to say most of us were glad when the think-piece ended and we were left with Acme-brand laffs and animals falling off cliffs and etc.

The long tradition of Aggie versus Longhorn football has achieved similarly mythic, iconic heights, which makes sense considering that first installment of the brawl took place in 1894, where we imagine the two teams squared off by lamplight after the visiting team arrived via mule or trolley. But now, A&M - who for so long have worked so hard to stoke the competition between the two teams - has decided to drop the Big 12 for the SEC, and it's an equivalent, maybe, of the Coyote finally throwing up his hands and going into insurance sales as a profession instead of predatory mayhem. What will fill the gap for the Aggies and Longhorns now that their sacred rivalry has been extinguished? Will both teams be able to survive the loss, or is it no biggie and we're just making a big frickin' deal about it for no reason?

The pitch of the rivalry has achieved its own sort of legend. Both teams are responsible for mischief and shit-talking, but it's fair to say the Aggies have a grudge against the Longhorns that is almost religious in its fervor. Ask Longhorn fans, and they may argue that while the A&M/Longhorn game is an important one, the Red River Rivalry against OU might be the game of the year. Ask an Aggie, and they'll probably begin frothing and chanting: “LONGHORN SCUM MUST DIE.” A massive bonfire at which an orange outhouse is, essentially, burned at the stake[s], a Hex Rally, and such stunts as transforming flora and fauna to their own off-brown ends have long been A&M's strange calling cards. Even the decision to defect to the SEC may be based out of, yup, more competition, with ESPN reporting that “Texas A&M began the courtship in July, unhappy with rival Texas' Longhorn Network -- a 20-year, $300 million venture with ESPN -- and stirred another turbulent period for the Big 12.”

A statement from “Texas A&M faculty athletic representative” Tom Adair in the same piece is notably cool about the whole thing: “There is some lamenting about (losing) some of the good competition we've had over the years with everyone (in the Big 12).” And as the Chron reports, “Although no one has formally declared the UT-A&M series over, no future games between the two rivals are scheduled. The Aggies, who elected to leave the Big 12 for the SEC effective next season, have publicly declared their desire to keep playing UT, but the Longhorns’ non-conference schedule is booked through 2018.” Ouch.

Are we finally seeing the end of a long drama where the two principal leads have decided that the good times they shared weren't worth all the fuss after all, and mutually agree to shuffle off, somewhat heartbroken, into separate directions? Will Mack Brown and Mike Sherman run into one another at some weird coaching conference, and after some small talk about various athletic merchandise and stadium turf, will Sherman sadly but pointedly say, “Hey, we really should get together [for a Thanksgiving rivalry game] again, or at least for a non-conference game or a cup of coffee or something?" And then will Brown, somewhat taken aback, say, "That sounds great, Mike, but we're booked for the next six years...": As Sherman walks away, his maroon suit becoming just another smudge of color in the hotel's multi-purpose room, will Brown wonder if the Longhorns are now just careening alone through a two-dimensional desert, suddenly sunken at the realization they're they're no longer being chased at all?