Interviewing FFFFest: Sean Patton

First, and most importantly, Halloween just happened: What was Sean Patton's costume?

I rarely ever dress up for Halloween because it just isn't special to me as an adult. Everyone else is dressed up! The only way to truly stand out on Halloween is to NOT dress up. I also have a real sore spot with every 15 minutes having this exchange: "Oh, are you Eva Gardener? Oh!! You're Sandra Bullock from 'The Net'! That's cool! Guess...no...close...I'm Dr. Strangelove IF he were in a punk band!"

I did dress up this year though. I dressed as me in 10 years: I wore things I normally wear and I painted my pinkie nail red. People asked why I wasn't dressed up, I'd say "I'm me in 10 years! Post op, op me. I figure I'll have some experience where I'll be forced to be surgically transformed into a woman - probably at the whim of a warped terrorist who storms in during one of my shows and offers the ultimatum of 'Become a woman, or all these people die!'. Then, after I have the surgery, onstage, he'll release the hostages and turn himself in to the authorities. Then the audience members whose lives I saved will set up a Kickstarter account to raise the $ to pay for the surgery to turn me back into a man." Then I'd show them my nail-polished-up pinkie and say, "And this is the part I'll keep from when I was a woman, to remind myself of my own bravery." Hey, if I'm gonna have to repeatedly explain my costume, I figured I'd pick one that I could explain the shit out of.

You're into film as well as stand up comedy -- how is the experience of writing for film different than writing for your act?

Writing a film is hard. Often because I have to write with someone else and I am not the best at that, mainly because I don't know how to write a film. I always get obsessed with fleshing out details that need not be fleshed out or with punching up dialogue that need not be punched up, or down, or any way for that matter. The dynamic that usually emerges when I write with someone is that they end up creating most of the structure and scenes and plot, and I supply a huge moment that sets the script apart. The film could work just fine without that moment, but that moment would be nothing without the rest of the film. Basically, I'm a shitty writing partner for 96% of the project.

With stand up, it's all me. I sit and write and rewrite every day. I like to see the words on paper. I know comedians who get together and have writing workshops and help each other develop material and that's nice and all, but I just can't do it. It has to be entirely me. From my brain to my hand to my notebook and ultimately out of my mouth on the stage that I am on. To me, originality is all we have left. Sure, almost every piece of subject matter has been touched upon, but the possibilities of execution are infinite because that's where our comedic voice comes into play. This is why I rewrite all the time, to keep updating how much "me" there is in my material. I have to keep the "me" level constantly at it highest.

Could you talk about "3 Weeks in September," a documentary shot during your fall tour, a bit? When / where will people be able to see this project?

Well, first of all, "3 weeks in September" was just a working title that we used in emails to each other and to the director. Our PR person got wind of it and used that title in all the press. Now, it wasn't her fault, it was ours, because we should've maybe researched the name because if we did we'd have learned sooner that "3 weeks in September" is already the name of a 9/11 documentary. Whoops! We learned that 2 weeks into the tour.

We don't know what the actual title will be, but we do know that March is the earliest anyone will see anything. We logged 101 hours of footage and we want to trim that into a 90 minute film. Our director and editor are working on it as we speak. Yes, it's another documentary about comedians on the road, but we feel we have a unique take on the subject. It's a story told from a perspective that has yet to tell the story. I think you're gonna love it. Yes you, the person reading this right now. Go see it! It will be out hopefully before 2012! Tell you what, the first 10 people to text "YOU? BUY BUSHWOOD?!" to 512-555-6461 will win free tickets to any show at The New Movement theater for life!

You've been a big presence on the festival scene in recent years; any favorite festival moments?

All of them. Festivals are just great. I mean, you end up drinking yourself comatose every night and you smoke cigarettes like it's the 50s and say things to comedians that you look up to that you later hate yourself for saying and you eat like you're trying to prove that calorie intake and gaining weight have nothing to do with each other, but it's always the best week of that particular month. The "Just for Laughs" fest in Montreal is awesome, and it's well-known for that. Canadian audiences are amazing because they're essentially a country of Comedy Dorks, which are different from the Comedy Nerds that we have here in America and from the Comedy Geeks in New Zealand. They're not as hardcore as the Comedy Goobers over in the UK, but they're just as supportive as the Comedy Dweebs in Australia. Why hasn't anyone stopped me from typing this yet?!

This past year I was at [Just for Laughs] in a bar where Robert Kelly and Rich Voss were walking around, swinging their comedy veteran dicks around. I was wearing my glasses at the time, and Robert Kelly saw me and made some sort of "four-eyed Belushi" statement, so I responded by pointing at his shirt and saying, "Hey Robert, what's on your shirt?" When He looked down, I zipped my finger right up his nose! Because at this point in my life, pointing out that I in any way resemble John Belushi is about as original as the "What's on your shirt?" finger-zip gag. Robert Kelly laughed at it. Rich Voss handed me a wad of Canadian money and suggested that I go run and buy him coffee, which I didn't. Thanks for the poutine, Rich! I also got to meet Bill Burr, who is one of my favorites, after a show at the fest. I won't repeat what he said to me, but let's just say that it still gives me the "vapors". Which has an entirely different meaning in Canada and are a great honor to be given.

The Bridgetown fest in Portland, Oregon, is a GREAT festival. Really, really great. Every year. Great Venues, great comedians, great shows, great city, great time. I got to do a live taping [of the WTF podcast] with Marc Maron this past year. I also ate a lot of donuts and tacos. Portland claims it's the best at both donuts AND tacos. What do you say about that, Austin?

You're going to be doing a lot in Austin, performing at both Fun Fun Fun Fest and The New Movement. What are you most looking forward to? (Note: It is completely reasonable to admit 'tacos')

I'm looking forward to it all. I don't know what Fun Fun Fun is gonna be like. I wish I knew! I wish someone would give me a clue as what sort of time I will have at Fun Fun Fun Fest! Will it be whimsical or flamboyant? Who knows! The organizers of this fest just aren't giving out much information as to what sort of time it's participants can expect to have! That excites me! The mystery!

Maybe they should call it the "Should We Hit the Nail on the Head a Bit Harder?" Festival.

I am really excited about the show at The New Movement. I've known Chris and Tami for years now. We go back to the pre-Katrina, DIY comedy scene in New Orleans. Tami is an incendiary performer and Terp is a farting Wizard of Improv. Together they are a fire hazard. A hilarious one. I am excited for this show and for the fest and to perform in Austin. I have had the hots for Austin for years and now I'm gonna make my move. I hope she likes me too!

Let's us ride together into the night like the Bandits we would've been 200 years ago! But hey, no stealing and NO RAPING. And please refrain from firing your pistols into the air to celebrate! What goes up must come down you know, and that includes bullets! Also, we don't all have to chew tobacco, okay, we can try some oak root or cypress moss. And when we go into a saloon, we don't have to start a brawl immediately! We can hang out and be civil for at least an hour and get a few dimes worth of whiskey in us before we start staring down locals and shooting deputies. Actually, new rule: No more shooting deputies! These guys are volunteers! Give them a break huh? From now on, only shooting the sheriff is allowed. if you see someone shoot a deputy, tell everyone else who did it! The last thing anyone needs is a deputy getting shot and no one knowing who actually did it! Then some poor Rastafarian might get wrongly accused and then who knows what'll happen!

Catch Sean Sunday at 6 at Fun Fun Fun Fest, or Monday at 9:30 at The New Movement Theater.