Why We Don't Like You: Nebraska Cornhuskers

Each week, we'll look at some reasons to taunt, belittle, and bully the Longhorns' football opponent. This week: the Nebraska Cornhuskers.

We Used To Be Friends: You've never forgiven us for knocking you off your perch when the Big 12 Conference was formed by adding Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, and Baylor to your old Big Eight conference. Before then, Nebraska or Oklahoma won the Big Eight title 71 times in 89 years. Since then, the Cornhuskers have won just two conference titles (the same number as the Longhorns), but haven't won since 1999. Nebraska beat Texas in that game, but we had the last laugh, as Bevo XIII wrapped things up by taking a big dump in the Nebraska end zone.
Nightmare Fuel: Speaking of mascots, Nebraska claims a pair of the most nightmare-inducing creatures around. First, there's Herbie Husker, a strapping gent who looks like, in the words of the great Every Day Should Be Saturday, "Teri Hatcher after a robust sex change operation and extensive hormone therapy." That should be enough, but then there's Lil’ Red, a young punk with overalls and an askew cap who looks like he's just waiting to cheap-shot you in the side of the head.
A Boy Named Suh: We don't hate Cornhusker defensive star Ndamukong Suh. We actually kind of love the guy. For starters, his first name means "house of spears." Our best player's name means "a young male horse under the age of four." Suh got a ticket last month after hitting three parked cars on a narrow Lincoln street. In his defense, he said he swerved to avoid hitting a small dog or cat. How adorable is that?

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