Scotch is a serious person drink.
At least, this is what The Informed Drinker had assumed for many years. You see Reader, scotch is for drinking straight. If it's mixed with anything besides a few droplets of water, you've ruined it. Scotch is for bathing in one's mouth, for enjoying very slowly—a sophisticated and high-culture sort of thing that academics and individuals wearing corduroy jackets with elbow patches might enjoy. In other words:
“People don't buy single malt scotch to shoot and get drunk,” says Andrew Weir, single malt scotch expert and brand ambassador for Balvenie Distillery. “All whisky provides a very personal sort of experience, and you want to enjoy what scotch whisky does specifically for you.”
Well Reader, The Informed Drinker is here to tell you that scotch will get you drunk. That is because all scotch must be no less than 80 proof (40%) alcohol, as mandated by the Scotch Whisky Order of 1990 in the UK. You'll be pleased to know it cannot go above 94.8% alcohol however, so that it maintains the flavors of the oak casks it is aged in (and also so that you don't tip it over and mistakenly clean your ears with it).
Because scotch gets you drunk, it can quickly become a very fun beverage. But for a libation like Balvenie, it's worth putting on your imaginary professor's jacket and taking your time imbibing. After all, scotch has taken its sweet time for you.
“Whisky usually peaks between 15 to 20 years of cask aging,” says Weir. “That being said, our 21 Year Port Wood Aged scotch is pretty much the Rolls Royce of our portfolio - like dessert in a glass.”
Having a sweeter palate herself, The Informed Drinker did enjoy the 21 Year Port best when she was served at Peche two weeks ago, along with all the Balvenie scotches. These included a 12 Year Double Wood Aged (peppery and watery eyes-inducing), a 15 Year American Oak Aged (slightly less burning), and a 17 Year Madeira Wood Aged (caramel-y and smoky flavored). She learned that it's traditional to add a few droplets of water to your scotch to “open up the flavor,” as Weir put it, so do not feel sheepish if your next glass of scotch needs a splash. You are not a wimp for adding water—you are a connoisseur.
Since scotch is a spirit best enjoyed by itself, we thought we'd do something a little different than we normally do at this stage of The Informed Drinker column (name three drink suggestions for three scenarios). Instead, we asked Weir—a Scotsman himself—to offer three “fun facts” about scotch, a spirit that, as we've seen above, commands its own governing body.
How many people make scotch?
“There are 98 distilleries in Scotland,” says Weir. “And, all of those scotches have extremely different characters - not just from distillery to distillery based on region, but bottle to bottle from the same distillery! Scotch drinkers are more about flavor discovery, and less about flavor consistency. There are so many factors that can affect a scotch during its aging process, that it's best to know what general flavor range you tend to enjoy - less aged, or more aged - and stick to that, rather than cling to just one bottle, 100% of the time.”
Who are Balvenie's top-selling markets?
“The US, France, and...Thailand. In that order,” says Weir. “The Thai do love to entertain.”
Say someone is just dying to have a scotch-based mixed drink. What then?
“I wouldn't mix any scotch over a 12-year,” says Weir, “but if I had to choose: A Blood & Sand. It's approachable, and multi-seasonal.” Made with Balvenie 12, Cherry Red Herring, orange juice and Vya Sweet Vermouth, the Blood & Sand is approachable indeed - sweet, but with an assertive enough alcohol base to make you want to approach it again and again. You can find it at Peche on their regular cocktail menu.




By the way... Austinites who might want to try a few scotches without buying the bottle should look into a visit to Opal Divine's (any one of 3 locations)... a huge scotch list and people who know how to serve it.