Why We Don't Like You: Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks

Each week, we'll look at some reasons to taunt, belittle, and bully the Longhorns' football opponent. There's certainly better material to work with later in the season (Oklahoma, A&M, Tech), but the University of Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks are up first.

Sloppy Seconds: You weren't our first choice. Texas wanted to play Arkansas in Austin this year, but the Razorbacks begged off so they could play Texas A&M at the new Cowboys Stadium. That left the Longhorns scrambling to fill an open spot on their dance card, and you made yourself available. At least you got a check for $850,000 to take back home with you.

Spineless: When the NCAA began cracking down on American Indian-themed mascots, you caved; dumping your 75-year tradition of being called the Indians in favor of the Warhawks, a World War II fighter plane. Other schools, like the Florida State Seminoles and Illinois Fighting Illini, stood firm against their NCAA oppressors.

Tim McGraw: The Indian Outlaw lived like he was dying as a scholarship baseball player at then-Northeast Louisiana University back in the 1980s. He began playing guitar and singing for tips during his Monroe days, before he became Mr. Faith Hill and amassed a large collection of leather vests.

The School Formerly Known As: Thirty years after taking the name Northeast Louisiana University, you changed your name to the University of Louisiana at Monroe in 1999. That type of late-in-life name changing strikes us as flighty. We've stuck with the name chosen for us back in 1883.