One Wiener To Rule Them All

If we told you to think of a ferocious competitor, a sweaty-toothed ball of fire that would rip through man or beast on his way to victory, what is the first thing that would probably not come to your mind? We would assert that it would be a Dachshund; that's right, the sausage-of-a-dog whose two-inch vicinity to the earth makes it possibly one of the least fear-instilling canines on the planet (next to those sad sack Chihuahuas, who are only slightly further from the floor). What you don't know, our friends, is just how determined and glory-thirsty those little pipsqueaks are, or how rabid their owners and appreciators can be.

Tonight at the Alamo Drafthouse S. Lamar, you can experience the tornado-like fury that surrounds the competitive Dachshund circuit in the dog-umentary Wiener Takes All. Canadian filmmaker Shane MacDougall, who apparently challenged Queen Elizabeth II to a kickboxing match or math test to win the monarchy of Canada at one point in time, spent two years following what we would assume to be a real-life Best in Show, documenting the heated rivalries, the epic speed trials, the allegations of doggie doping and the amazingness that is the Westminster Dog Show, watching as the broad field of hot-dog-shaped pooches is winnowed down to one winning weenie.

Truly, Wiener Takes All may be the Chariots of Fire of puppy pictures, and what's truly special is that you can watch the film and then experience it live this weekend at the 12th Annual Buda Wiener Dog Races, this year with the brilliant theme of Wienerdog Millionaire (Whoever came up with that, we tip our hats to you). Not only do they have doggie drag races, but you can also participate in a barbecue cook-off, a bake-off, a chili cook-off and a sweet pet parade. If you've got a Wiener, er, Dachshund, you should totally go show it off this weekend, but we recommend that you see the film first so that you know what kind of vipers nest your are about to step into. Weenies!