SXSW Film Preview: Ex-Terminators

We’ve all been there -- stalked by a past lover, scared for our lives. Or so angry we want to kill them. We’ve all found ourselves, at one time or another, in the bushes outside their house in the middle of the night, wondering if we snuck in through the window if they’d be happy to see us, our hot breath muffled under the ski mask and fogging up our infrared goggles. Normal, right? Breakups are tough.

If you’re nodding along to that stuff above, then stay far away from us, psycho. Instead perhaps hit the movies. In fact, here’s one you might want to check out.

Ex-Terminators, starring Heather Graham, is “a dark comedy in the current hot genre of women-power” according to its press materials. While we wouldn’t call “women power” a “current hot genre” (we’re pretty sure that Stella got her groove back a long time ago), we do enjoy a dark comedy.

The story, about a ragtag bunch of rage-aholics who meet at a group therapy session and end up assassinating exes for cash, also stars Jennifer Coolidge (Best in Show, A Mighty Wind) and current “it girl” Amber Heard (she must be “it” because we knew her name but didn’t recognize any of her work) as Graham’s morally lax accomplices and Joey Lauren Adams (Chasing Amy) as a friend in need. That’s a lot of females to empower! Plus, it was shot in Austin, so there should be some good local landmarks in the background should your attention start to wander.

Directed by “Scrubs” cinematographer/director John Inwood, there should be plenty of comedic timing and interesting shots. But above all, there’s the whole assassin-chick thing, which is hot. For those of you who take your humor like you take your coffee (NOTE: you must take your coffee black for this joke to work), this is a film you might want to check it out. But stay far away from us. We prefer our psychos onscreen.

Ex-Terminators premiers on the auspicious date of Friday, March 13, at 10 PM at the Paramount. For more information and other screen times, check out the SXSW Film Schedule.