Austinist Reviews: Altar Boyz

The Altar Boyz in question are a J.C.-fueled boy band. Matthew, Mark, Luke and Juan—plus Abraham, the token Jew!—dance their way into the hearts of fans with their perfectly groomed, über-manufactured selves. Their (almost) unwavering dedication to the love o’ God is riotously funny, and from the Bad Boy (a shameless Mark Christine as Luke) to the Closet Case (show-stealer Christopher Hartman as Mark) every Altar Boy is religious perfection personified. Band leader Matthew, played by Dario Nolfi, whose starry-eyed love for Jeebus captures the essence of every praise band leader ever, orchestrates the show, while Juan (Joshua Cruz, who is just short of being too sexy for the role … not a bad thing) provides even more comic relief to the already side-splitting production. And James La Rosa, as Abraham, plays his character as the cutest dancing Chosen Person this side of Mount Ararat.

Overshadowing the hilarious songs (“Church Rulez” OMG) is the phenomenal choreography, filled with jokes in its own right. Look for the point at which the arms-outstretched pose of Christ on the cross is actually incorporated into a dance move, making Altar Boyz possibly the most wonderfully blasphemous production of anything, ever. The show lags toward the end when the singing and dancing stops and the acting takes over, but don’t lose faith: the Altar Boyz bring it home with a soul-stirring finale. Hallelujah!