Austinist: I Am So Popular: Three Weddings and a Funeral

lush

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:57:58 -0600

Spike, I have just plain adored you ever since you allowed my kiddo to collect on the silent auction item I'd purchased a full year prior at the Willie Graham Benefit. You're a bonafide rockstar as far as I'm concerned, and I just love reading this column. This is my favorite entry so far. It's just so relatable--and not just because I'm another twice divorced fool for other people's weddings either. And I think I love the Divorce Ceremony idea a little bit. Unbeknownst to me, my birthday fell on the same day my Dad's first divorced was finalized years before. I waited until my birthday to finalize my second one and called him to let him know. He thought it was just hilarious. Now he calls to wish me Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary which I wish him right back. I'm aware that I'm babbling, but it's way more fun than working. Love and Fan Mail!

truecraig

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:47:39 -0600

Actually, I meant that the divorcing couple should give gifts to all who attended their divorce ceremony, seeing as how weddings tend to be a wholesale gift-collection process (bridal shower, wedding shower, bachelor/ette parties, then the wedding gift for the actual occasion). It's only fair that those who invested in the wedding should be compensated upon its demise. Like a bankruptcy payout to investors/creditors. BUT, I like Jooooooooooole's idea far more than mine!

Jooley Ann

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:05:56 -0600

TC, you're brilliant! Believe me, if you're the one getting screwed, you really do need stuff after a divorce. But I'm thinkin' the Divorce Registry should be at Home Depot, Lowe's, and Target, b/c it's always the guy who gets screwed, and I'm pretty sure you can fill any and all Man Needs with those three stores.

truecraig

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 09:20:10 -0600

And then they'd give a whole bunch of black-wrapped gifts to everyone who attended, selected from the Divorce Registry at Neiman Marcus.

dj_spaghetti

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 08:58:34 -0600

I like that: Divorce ceremonies. They could be done as reverse marriages: the couple arrives in a fancy car or horse-drawn carriage, a big party with cake, ceremonial "I don't anymore's" or "I can't take it anymore's", a removal of the rings, a walk backwards up the aisle, and dispersal of the couple in separate cars.

Garreth

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 08:36:20 -0600

Have you ever considered performing divorce ceremonies? I think there's a big untapped market there, right next to funeral photography.