Box and Horn: Grape Ape

I've been in Austin since early on in 1994, you know, that time when almost anyone who says they remember old Austin moved here. I'm not a true Austinite, but I claim to be now because I was here when Electric Lounge and Liberty Lunch existed damn it! I don't have any writing experience, but I do have opinions and poor grammatical abilities and apparently that's all it takes to get an invite to write for this column. Outside of that, the topic of choice is SXSW because, well, I've attended in some way, shape or form since I moved here.

And we're off!

Where to start? When I first started thinking about what I wanted to say, I figured out that I really shouldn't be thinking in the first place; that just makes things complicated. I could start by simply complaining about the people who complain about SXSW or better yet I could start railing on the organizers of after parties and how they should really figure out what their legal obligations are before calling shenanigans on SXSW management. Maybe I could talk about how $140 is way too much to charge for access to 1500+ bands, but that would just be asinine and ridiculous. Maybe, just maybe, I could bring myself to try and help some people out on how to deal with SXSW. That my friends, (read as people who have too much time on their hands so they are actually reading this garbage) is what I will attempt to do.

Disclaimer: In no way are the following observations and suggestions a true reflection of the way SXSW actually works for an attendee. I generally live off PBR, Jager and Best Wurst for the entirety of the music portion of the event; so pardon me if my memory and perception is not completely accurate.

The Day Show: The "free" day show to be more specific. Not only can you see some great bands play you've actually heard of while you drink free beer and eat free food, you can come across some pretty amazing bands that you wouldn't have otherwise heard of if you weren't out drinking at 11am. While some of these shows may say they are invite only, it's usually not too hard to get in if you really want to see someone that's playing there. If you really believe the door guy who was up working until 5am wants to haggle over whether or not you're supposed to be in their half full club at 11am, then you've already lost and you may as well pack up and go home. This is also a place to run into some of your favorite or just better known musicians who don't have to schlep the day shows anymore as they have achieved "showcase only" status. Chat it up, they're checking out the band on stage just like you. It's a cool way to see a lot of good music if you don't want to or can't afford to buy a wristband or badge (I've done the "day show only" route one time as an experiment and I'll say it doesn't work for me) . Now keep in mind; don't be the asshole that stands around at the day show talking about how SXSW is lame because wristbands cost so much. Recognize that the only reason you are standing there at 11am drinking free beer and eating free food while watching [insert band name here] is because of those wristbands and badges that were purchased. Yes, I think you owe us something, not the other way around asshole! You know who you are.

The Showcase: Contrary to popular belief, the showcase is the heart and soul of SXSW, not the money or the "shut down these parties" list. The showcase is where you can catch some big name acts and again, discover some really great bands who are trying their damndest to make it. This is where most of the complaints originate around SXSW. The showcase is where access becomes important and the true value of wristbands and badges rear their heads (whether that head is ugly or not is based on whether you have a badge or a wristband in most cases). First, don't hate the badge holder if you don't get into the big buzz show or a big name show. One of two things is happening, either the badge holder is an industry type who can actually sign that buzz band or they are like me and just really like access and the ability to not have to plan so much to see what I want, when I want. I can't tell you how many times I've walked past a line of 200+ people waiting to see a buzz band only to walk in ahead of all of them to see that the "buzz" was only that. I can't explain how satisfying it is to know that I didn't have to spend an hour or more in line only to be disappointed (that and I got to see 3 other bands while you stood outside and bitched about badge holders getting in ahead of you). This is generally where you encounter the "entitled" asshole who believes that he/she is being screwed over because they didn't get in and spent $140 on a wristband. Get over it, there are 1500 other bands out there, find something! If you really have an issue with it, pony up for a badge or stay away from the big draws (being a sheep is no fun anyway, but it is easier with a badge).

P.S. Have a plan and a backup plan if you are going wristband. Nothing sucks more than trying to find out what you should do when you find out your original destination has either canceled a show or that they are at capacity. Don't miss music because of poor planning.

The After Party: You have to get a permit! Last year was by far the worst, when numerous illegal parties were shut down and they happened to be on a list that was provided by SXSW. I've been to plenty of the after parties over the years in which the AFD showed up and shut things down (some even properly permitted), but never have I heard such uproar over it as I did last year. Unfortunately there's a new breed living in Austin now that can't let things go apparently. In the past we all just moved on to the next party, but there seems to be some really strong attachments to certain parties in the hipster party-goer community. I'll leave the "people in Austin used to just get over it" discussion for another day. With that said, there are some really good parties out there, you just need to pay attention every day and every night and try to get a lead when you can (Day shows are usually the best place for this, the industry people with connections are much easier to deal with when sober and unstressed). It's also a good bet that the big one you keep hearing about is going to be absurdly packed and most likely shut down at some point that evening….errr, morning. Look for option 2 and you'll probably do just fine. Oh yeah, and if you are trying to crash one of the big after parties, act like you've been there before, it makes it much easier to get through the door. Nothing says "we ain't getting in" like a group of drunken dudes stumbling through the bushes hoping someone will open that side door. If you're reading this; no the Beastie Boys did not play that party, it was the Diamond Smugglers. You didn't really miss who it is you thought you were sneaking in to see.

The Aftermath: When it's all said and done, SXSW is not the evil money grubbing corporate behemoth; it's the successful event that adapts every year to the changing landscape of music, interactive and film. I truly believe that the management at SXSW has done everything they can to make it as accessible as possible to anyone who wants to attend. Yes, the costs of wristbands and badges have gone up, but I believe this to be necessary due to the increase in interest and overall cost of putting on the event. If it only cost $25 for a wristband you would never get into shows as the lines would be outrageous. It's also worth noting that SXSW brings in ~$100M in revenue to the city and an approximate $12M in media attention for Austin (someone feel free to correct me to the penny). For those that believe Austin is on the decline culturally from what is used to be, you can probably blame SXSW for some of that. For those of you who think Austin is on the rise culturally, you can probably blame SXSW for some of that. Those statements lend themselves to another conversation, but it is worth noting the point – SXSW is a very successful event that has an incredible impact on Austin, not only during 2 weeks in March, but on almost every day of the year.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading and thanks to truecraig for the invite to contribute and thanks to Austinist for providing us all with a forum to keep up with everything that's going on in this great city.

-Grape Ape/Evan

If you’re an Austin local, have something you’d like to say and are prepared to pen a future entry for this weekly column, send an inquiry to truecraig [at ] austinist.com. Bucket-o-thanks! - Austinist Columnist Editor.