The Accidental Gentrifist: Shiva Went That Way
Editors’ Note: The opinions and ideas expressed in The Accidental Gentrifist are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the outlook or beliefs of anyone else in the Ist network.
As Austin grows, our unofficial motto should probably be modified from ‘Keep Austin Weird’ to simply, ‘Keep Austin.’ Maybe it's a small defeat. Or maybe it's simply falling back to more secure positions. Positions from which victory is actually possible. Because it’s definitely possible that ‘weird’—unique, inexplicable, idiosyncratic—is in fact incompatible with growth. And growth, at our stage, is progress. They may not always be synonymous, be they’re definitely inextricable.
So let’s sacrifice Weird. Let’s strap it to the Stone of Elders and drive the ceremonial dagger through its little, tie-dyed heart. Or tie a cinderblock to its ankles and drop it in Lady Bird Lake.
No? Well, wouldn’t that be better than letting it limp to a corner to die of neglect, or suffer toxification by the overbearing presence of those who won’t let it die a quiet, natural death? Or should we let it continue to be whored out as an un-ironic commodity? Personally, I think a public execution would be both cleansing and just.
Austin’s idiosyncrasies are a weight. An anchor. For so long, I’ve championed our music scene, our film makers, our higher-than-thou book readership. I have left myself open to the possibility that a non-prescribed adventure might be waiting on some dark side-street east of the highway. That there are people here who may defy expectation. That the fruit is really the vine itself.
But as things change, it’s easier and easier to be let down. Eventually, you get the idea that maybe, you were wrong. That maybe there’s a good chance the weirdness that defines us is a myth, a hoax, a thing so hindering that, even if real, its only true effect upon our culture is—dare I say it?—dead weight. That this entire city has been over-engaging in unhealthy self-love.
Yes, it's true. As both a municipality and a subculture, we have very hairy palms.
The tragic horror of it all is that our Narcissus-like preoccupation with our own image might actually prove to be our Icarus-like demise. (On a side note, did you ever see The New Twilight Zone episode called “Examination Day”?)
The Argument:
Spiritual Evolution progresses toward Simplicity. Of all creatures, an exceptionally intelligent and talented person is perhaps the least evolved and the furthest from Enlightenment. Geniuses and creative minds are the most conflicted and confused members of the human race, and thus constitute the lowest rung of the karmic ladder. Many are considered to be ‘ill’, and rightly so. They are the cluttered opposite of Truth. Single-celled organisms, and even so-called ‘non-living’ things like viruses and crystals make up the highest rung—the penultimate category preceding Enlightenment.
If you are a good-hearted person who has propitiated the karmic obstacles of your past lives, and are now slated to evolve spiritually, chances are pretty good that you will reincarnate into a mentally retarded person. In such a state you will quickly realize that ‘retarded’ and ‘challenged’ are only ever accurate in relationship to the menial tedium of the foolish. Your rewards for your past lives will be manifold, including great increases in simple pleasures and time for meditation, while your personal responsibilities will diminish to near zero. Your primary purpose in life will be to teach other people the true meaning of love, and to enlighten those who are incapable of it.
(This state can also be achieved artificially through substantial brain trauma, asphyxia, Alzheimer’s, and huffing nail polish remover.)
After that, you may become a sperm whale. Here you may stall, since it’s quite common to experience several life cycles as an aquatic mammal. Newly incarnated whales, narwhals, and porpoises are inclined to retain past life knowledge. (Note the agitation and frustration displayed by dolphins when, through the portholes of private submarines, they witness humans having sex. Even at the tranquil depths of the Pacific, indistinct yet incommodious memories of your previous human suffering may cause you to grow increasingly depressed, until you finally beach yourself out of pure ennui.)
Your next embodiment may be that of a baby born with no brain. Or perhaps you will have a brain, or a brain stem that sustains vital functions, but only a few cc’s of actual gray matter. Your time will be brief but illuminating.
Next stage, elephant. And since it’s difficult to live an unrighteous life as an elephant (or squirrel or meerkat or lemur), the final descent is fairly automatic. Furthermore, as your biological manifestations become progressively more simplistic, so too will you experience geometrically shorter lifespans. Your eons of suffering have born fruit: you have passed the final threshold, and now plummet, membrane-first, down the slippery slope of karmic devolution.
Boom, you’re an amoeba in no time.
Even someone only slightly less intelligent than you still deserves your respect. It doesn’t matter if their reduced acumen takes the form of officiousness, pompousness, or simple lack of tact. They are closer to Enlightenment, so bow to them, even if it gives them simple pleasure. They are, after all, your betters.
Un-mutated DNA is Plagiarism. Plagiarism and theft and mediocrity ensure the continuity of life, the dim variety that guarantees survival in a future resembling the past. Untested dreams and solutions tailor-made to problems guarantee a static cycle, a re-run culture. Yet it is not without cause that we congratulate ourselves when the cycle skips a beat, when it accidentally mutates, when it perceptibly changes color.
No sacrifice is without some expectation of gain: The hope in limiting progress is that regress may be held at bay.
Pity the organism can manipulate its environment, yet cannot do so to the advantage of those it supports. Because if it truly has the omniscience it purports—if it can see that evolution is devolution, and conceive of progress as regress—then it should be no large surprise that the host can also be the parasite, and vice versa.
Comments [rss]
-
cheap lacoste polo shirts
-
ralph lauren polo shirt
-
Benj
-
apocatastasis
-
LoudMouth
-
apocatastasis
-
b
-
mdahmus
-
Tarvin
-
jmn4
-
misssteak
-
heyzeus
-
pd
-
shmoothaustin
-
Edie
-
ralph lauren home
-
M_Twilson
-
kenneth1
-
paul smith shirts
-
lacoste outlet
-
lacoste polo
-
lacoste outlet
-
ralph lauren polo shirts uk
