Austinist: Truesday: Just Beyond Our Line of Sight

shototsu

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 15:59:28 -0600

Great, you just destroyed a renewable food source. Think of the grocery money you could have saved...

M_Twilson

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 14:22:15 -0600

The worst is when they get into a sack of potatoes. That sweet starch nectar for them is like dripping radiated honey down an ant pile. They grow and feed and grow and grow. Plus the potatoes just smell awful afterwards.

Benj

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 11:12:45 -0600

Mdahmus left out the last part of the 'circle of life': the part where his mom served Siamese bisque and Muffin muffins.

Adam S

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 10:51:49 -0600

yeah truecraig, maybe you just need some cats. And lizards for good measure.

mdahmus

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 10:39:28 -0600

Where I grew up, in the fetid jungles of South Florida, even a very clean house has some roaches - and ours did. And cats. And lizards. Out on the screen porch, it was like the Circle of Life; lizards pushing roaches off the crossbar to flop upside down at which point they could be devoured at saurian leisure speed - which was usually quite slow even in the hot sun. And just when you thought the lizards were smart, in came the cats - who would attack the lizards; usually just ending up with a tail for their trouble; but sometimes the entire prize. Yay! The coolest thing, though, was when the cats would cut out the middleman and crunch one of the roaches like the candy they apparently are to cats.

truecraig

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 10:32:50 -0600

Sure, I could've called an exterminator. But that would've ruined the metaphor entirely. Plus, I'm not that smart.

smack

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 10:23:30 -0600

I once had one wake me up in boarding school because it was crawling across my face. I didn't sleep for 4 days.

Benj

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 10:16:28 -0600

Once I was heavily sedated on opiates, while having a night out at an outdoor bar. To everyone's absolute horror, a giant palmetto bug suddenly landed on my shoulder. I calmly put my cigarette back in my mouth, and, with my non-beer-holding hand, carefully picked the bug off my shoulder and set it down in a potted plant. Still in mid-recoil, this girl looked at me and, I swear, she said, "You are so cool." And I thought, "Lady, I'm having the biggest fucking heart attack in my life right now, only it's buried under five miles of codeine." Not long after, a somebody asked the instructor of my biology class why humans are so irrationally afraid of insects. This girl in the front row stood, pushed her bottle-bottom glasses higher on her nose and said, "Orifices. We're afraid they're going to crawl in our orifices." And I thought, 'So that's why they're scarier when I'm naked.'

heyzeus

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 10:06:52 -0600

I guess you coulda just called an exterminator, but that wouldn't be as much fun.