![_The Preservation, The Dalles and SuperLiteBike at Beauty Ballroom [Show Preview]](http://austinist.com/assets_c/2012/05/the preservation-thumb-250x250-716401.jpg)
New Movie Releases: Over Her Dead Body, Persepolis and More!
We don't really need to tell you the whole story, because you already know it. Boy loses girl. Boy meets new girl. New girl is hot and charmingly clumsy, so boy immediately falls in love. Absurd, easily overcome challenges to the relationship, like a ghost fiancée, are thrown in to feign difficulty in solidifying the union, but boy always gets girl in the end - preferably the one that is still alive. Usually there is a wedding or two. The end.
However, when the credits rolled we left the theater a bit perplexed by our behavior during the preceding 95 minutes. We were ashamed of it, and tried to hold it back, but we laughed. Out loud. We attribute most of this to a keen ability to regress into our teenage girlishness at the sight of the always adorable and hilarious Paul Rudd (seriously, we wish we had an ex-step brother as cute as Rudd, a la Clueless), which only fueled our squeakiness when puppy dogs, kitty cats and little birdies started doing silly things (did we mention that Rudd's character is a veterinarian?).
Unfortunately, Rudd's dry wit and precious nose do not a fine movie make, and in between our sporadic laughter were countless groans of pain and disgust. Fart jokes? Seriously? Are we still doing that? Jason Biggs falling down, burning himself and touching his crotch? Um, we've seen this before and we think there was a pie involved. Eva Longoria Parker woodenly acting like a complete jerk face? Shocker. What's really unfortunate is the fact that the lovely psychic/caterer Lake Bell and Rudd's kleptomaniac sister Lindsay Sloane get buried in cardboard-like dialog and tracing-paper-thin plot lines.
Not to mention that screenwriter/director Jeff Lowell apparently hates women and thinks that they are all crazy (which is partially true, we will admit, but so are men). One of the working titles of the film was Ghost Bitch. Meddlesome Parker is crushed by an ice sculpture within the first five minutes, yet she remains concerned about her weight and appearance through the entire ordeal. During a blind date sequence, Rudd totally disses all women who own cats, and of course, his date is a cat owner. (Dudes, we will seriously throw down over this issue. Our cat totally rules and we won't hesitate to shiv anyone who says different.) At one point, Parker tells Bell that she is getting a bit "hippy" in her size double 0 jeans and shames her by insinuating that she saw her masturbating in the shower (Why was Parker watching Bell in the shower in the first place? Creepy.) The only bad thing that can be said about Rudd is that he eats Arby's when he is sad, and that is far from a character flaw in our book.
Basically, unless you are a 15-year-old girl, dating a 15-year-old girl or think that flatulence + Biggs = the cat's pajamas, we would suggest you avoid this one like a freshly turned landfill.--Steph Beasley [Trailer] [Website]
Persepolis
Based on Marjane Satrapi's popular graphic novel, Persepolis is the author's autobiographical coming-of-age story set in Tehran during the Iranian Revolution. The animated film follows Marjane on the difficult journey to adulthood in a land with many social, cultural and personal challenges.
We were lucky enough to catch Persepolis during Fantastic Fest back in September, and can tell you that it's quite good. It's funny and sad and touching, and more than a little bit cute. But it's also a window into a frightening world--one that, to Western eyes, seems almost impossible to understand, let alone navigate as a child. Recommended.
—Matt Smith [Trailer] [Website]
Also Opening in Austin
The Eye
An American remake of a 2002 Hong Kong horror flick in which a woman's eye transplant gives her the ability to see ghosts and stuff.
We haven't seen it, but the 29% rating on Rotten Tomatoes is probably not far from the truth. Plus, it was produced by Tom Cruise. Do you need another reason to skip it?
—Matt Smith [Trailer] [Website]
Strange Wilderness
Looks like Steve Zahn is back to sucking after a surprisingly respectable performance in Rescue Dawn. But hey, the cast looks promising at least: Joe Don Baker, Ernest Borgnine, Robert Patrick, Jeff Garlin and Jonah Hill. There has to be something funny in there somewhere. Or maybe not.
—Matt Smith [Trailer]
Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Concert Tour: Digital 3D
The title is fairly self-explanatory. Better hurry though, mom and dad, because this is apparently only hitting theatres for a one week run. After which time, we're pretty sure they're retiring 3D technology forever.
—Matt Smith [Trailer]
Honeydripper
Danny Glover, Charles S. Dutton, Mary Steenburgen and Austinite Gary Clark Jr. star in this new musical drama from director John Sayles. The film follows Tyrone Purvis (Glover), a blues club owner whose business is failing. But the appearance of a hot young blues guitarist (Clark Jr.) could save the day.
Very sad to have missed this at the AFS premiere last week. We generally like Sayles' stuff, and this one has particularly strong links to Austin. We'll be checking it out this weekend for sure, despite mixed critical response sofar.
—Matt Smith [Trailer] [Website]
