January 22, 2008
Horny Houston Politician Asked to Submit STD Test
Miles, 42, is being sued for a laundry list of items after witnesses claim he crashed a holiday party, yelled obscenities, brandished a gun and got his snog on with another man's wife. Oh, and in addition to compensatory and punitive damages, the suit also requests that Miles submit a blood sample to be tested for STDs.
Nathaniel and Krysyntia Rido are contending that Miles forcibly kissed Mr. Rido’s wife at a Christmas party held at the St. Regis Hotel last month, stating that the public figure acted in a "depraved, unconscionable and reckless manner, leaving in his wake shame, embarrassment and mental trauma." Mrs. Rido said she fears AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases because she was exposed to "Miles' unwanted bodily fluids."*
News broke about this story over the weekend and the interwebs are all ablaze over how these charges will affect the March 4th primary, when Miles will once again square off against Al Edwards, whom he unseated in 2006.
*Though the CDC states that some STDs can be transmitted orally, HIV cannot be transmitted through casual kissing.
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MAN, I WAS AT THAT PART AND LET ME TELL YOU THER EWAS SOME CHIT GOING DOWN. NOW I WAS DOING MY JOB SERVING HOURSDERVES TO ALL THESE RICH FANCY PEOPLE WHEN TIHS DRUNK WHITE CAT COME BUY AND SHOVES A SHRIMPS IN HIS MOUTH. HE TIRES TO CHEW, BUT RED SAUSE SHOOTS OUT AND GETS ALL OVER THIS LADY'S HUSBAND. THEY GET PISSED AND MAN, I DUCKED OUT BACK TO SMOKE WEED WITH THE KITCHEN STAFF. WHEN WHITIE PULLS OUT A GUN, US BLACKIES RUN!