As we reported last week, the Austin-birthed Teeth will be hitting our silver screens on Friday, January 25th. But of course, it would be a grievous crime against the good people of our town to not give them the chance to see this genre-bending flick before the rest of the unwashed masses, and therefore the tireless miracle-workers over at Ain't It Cool News and the Alamo Drafthouse have cooked up a little sneak preview for our collective cringing pleasure, with Director Mitchell Lichtenstein live in person to field all of your probing questions.

In case you haven't been briefed, Teeth is the story of the virtuous Dawn (Jess Weixler) and her familiar high school struggle to remain chaste and pure. All the promise rings in the house say "Ho", or maybe that should be "Ho-ly." Dawn is constantly bombarded with the urge to not keep it in her pants, with plenty of thanks going to her sexy stepbrother (gross, we can't believe we just typed that), who provokes her at every turn. Unfortunately, Dawn is noticing changes in her body that may or may not be caused by an overabundance of hormones and, as the apropos title suggested, with a little help from her gyno she realizes that she is the living, porcelain-plus proof of the vagina dentata myth.

Dawn and her Lorena Bobbitt vagina proceed to wreak havoc on men's deepest, darkest Freudian fears: that they would somehow be separated from their precious John Thomases by the chomping of vengeful lady bits. Now we don't know about you guys, but we think that this is possibly the best horror/morality tale/comedy subject matter of all time.

This film, as you can guess, has cause quite an uproar, not only with the squirming crowds of Drafthouse regulars, who first encountered the preview a couple of weeks ago, but also with the East Austin residents who claim that they were duped into allowing a "pornographic" film to be created in their neighborhood (Read the hilarious article from 2006 here. Our favorite part is where humans and children are not classified as part of the same species). Whether you are totally psyched or totally skeezed out by this concept, we suggest you see it, and if you are lucky, you can see it for free. Get all the details on the Alamo blog. We project the that word "Toothy" will be the new "That's Hot."