As we move to the next square on the calendar you're still out there trying to make a connection. Sadly you let most of them slip by without saying a word. We understand, no one wants to be overzealous and get shot down. If only you had some place to find a second chance. Oh yes, Missed Connections. If only you had someone to sort through and find the best of the above. Oh, right, read below....

To all the Trotters behind me...

I apologize.

Last night I made the mistake of eating a bunch of horribly gassy foods that I normally would not partake of before running a race. How gassy? I thought I was going to explode from all the rumblings and pressure that were created, especially when I was woken up at 3am this morning by the pain I felt down below. Thankfully, things quieted and I was able to sleep through. This morning I had a brief moment of nasal agony getting ready, but all indications said that was going to be it. Like you, I braved the delightfully chilly morning to arrive and run 5 miles for no good reason on a day I could be sleeping in a warm bed. Like you, I thought I might lose body parts to frost bite.

Unlike you, I had several stretches of the race where every step resulted a small waft of doom being expelled like a miniature turbo boost.

Just after the first water station, I realized that I was having some more of the pressure, and it was not going to be staying inside. Did you happen to notice the lack of porta-potties on the route? I did. So then I did what I had to do, and step after agonizing step, a small eruption of terror was emitted for your smelling pleasure. Again at mile 3, and finally for a ridiculously long stretch during mile 4 where I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to prevent myself from laughing after about the 20th one. During the mile 3 batch I actually caught whiff of some of nastiness, and almost gagged at how awful it was! Some nose hairs curled, but then another artic breeze crossed paths and wafted the stench away from me.

Next year I promise I'll stay on a much more race-appropriate diet.

Geez! We're glad that we were at home asleep. We didn't read about anyone passing out from noxious fumes so hopefully it all ended well.

Being Bitter has it's Advantages

I just won a hot game of Loaded Questions with a question of what song title would you write to your long lost love. I wrote, "Fat, Rich, Jew Bastard, Why Didn't You Marry Me?" One person even spewed eggnog from their nostrils.

We're glad that someone else is preaching the gospel. Although there are also many more advantages that we won't get into here. Feel free to come to the next bitter club meeting and we'll talk!

Missed connection with the correct definition of "loser"

I keep seeing the term "loser" being thrown around on this board very frequently and quite often very inaccurately. While I know "loser" is very subjective/defined differently by each person using it, I thought I'd try to shed a little light on it.

This entry is really just an Honorable Mention. If you're feeling down in the dumps or have felt like it just doesn't pay to get up some days then check out the rest of this entry. It's our human interest piece for the weak.

That's it for this week. If we missed any of your favorites just post them for us all to view. We'll be back next week with a new round up. Until then, may you find Peace, Love and Connections.