November 9, 2007
Extra Extra: Prison Breaks, Pet Snakes, and Karl Rove Hates Your Guts
- President Bush visits wounded soldiers at Brooke Army Medical Center, demonstrates how to "shoot the bad guys" in Iraq--on a computer game, that is
- A 160-pound chimp attempts a daring escape from the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, prompting a sweep of the entire 381-acre campus. He was later found; authorities were careful to point out that "Jake" wasn't carrying any diseases, and was merely there for "behavioral science" research
- Louis Hernandez, a 31-year-old employee of the Frank Erwin Center, was struck by a white Nissan pick-up on campus this morning. "The sound was similar to the sound cracking boards make," said a witness. "It was a horrible sound like the sound of crumpling paper." Hernandez was taken to Brackenridge with non-life threatening injuries.
- Deborah Gavin, who broke out of a prison in Georgia over 33 years ago, was found in east Texas
- Karl Rove praises bloggers for being "nutty," "vitriolic," and "kooks." Our favorite Rove quote of all time, which was evidently directed at one of his own operatives: "We will fuck him. Do you hear me? We will fuck him. We will ruin him. Like no one has ever fucked him!"
- Now's your chance to own a 1875 Remington single-action .45-caliber pistol formerly owned by Mexican revolutionary Pancho Villa--assuming you have some $100,000 saved up
- A pet python in North Austin attempts (unsuccessfully) to devour a 17-year-old girl... or her hand, at least
- Happy Diwali, festival of lights!
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