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Local Superhero vs. Supervillain Smackdown (and Giveaway)
How often do you get hand-delivered messages from local super-villains?
Probably not as often as the Defuser—that Austin cop who just won season two of the SciFi channel’s reality show, Who Wants to Be A Superhero?
The Defuser—aka Austin Police Department Detective Jarrett Crippen, 38—is running a charity haunted house called Scare for a Cure. They’ll be donating most of their net proceeds to fighting breast cancer, with the rest going to the Elks.
Not long ago, he was hanging out at the Elks Lodge, bonding with his crew over a bucket of fried chicken.
Somewhere between a wing and a biscuit, he was called into the parking lot by a red-shirted, black-gloved, motorcycle-goggled henchman, delivering a challenge from Austin’s top super-villain, “Lord Vile.”
Lord Vile, it turns out, is also running a haunted house, dubbed the Shadow Vault.
The challenge: on the nights that both houses are running, if the Shadow Vault has more customers than Scare, Vile will donate half of his proceeds to Norml, funding their efforts to decriminalize marijuana. But, if the Defuser’s scare-palace moves more bodies, Vile will donate his corrupt cash to fighting breast cancer. (We suspect that losing wouldn’t be devastating for Vile—from the Vault’s nightly Sexy Costume Contest to the Supergirl pics on Vile’s website, it looks like he’s totally down with healthy breasts...)
Both sides in the haunt-off have backup. Vile has his henchmen—you can enlist by clicking Henchman Wanted at his online lair—while other superheroes and oodles of Scare volunteers are lining up behind the Defuser.
We asked Lord Vile why he would issue the challenge to the Defuser. We got the following quote emailed in response:
“I understand that you want to know why I challenged the Defuser. This man Crippen is not a Hero. He is a fantasist playing dress-up.Stan Lee’s experiment drew all of the arrested development cases out into the open to role play with each other. It’s pathetic really, don’t you agree? Anyone whose only claim to fame is appearing on a reality show should be sterilized on general principals.
This first challenge is part of my attempt to find a worthy nemesis. I expect the Defuser to fail and to reveal himself to be a fraud in the process.”
“I’m amused at this minor criminal’s attempt. That he would think that he could offer me any real challenge," the Defuser replied.
Of course, it’s easy to be amused when the DVD of your series goes on sale October 18th, you’ll soon be immortalized in a new comic book from Dark Horse Comics (created by comic book master Stan Lee), and they’re making an action figure of your alter ego. Never mind carrying a gun in your day job, and having handcuffs for more than play-at-home use.
How cool is this town? We’re starting to feel like we’re in that Chilean superhero movie, Mirageman (“The real story of a real-life superhero”), that screened at this year’s Fantastic Fest.
Gentlemen, start your Haunted Houses. May the best super-blank win!
If you wanna take sides in this haunt-off, you can donate cash or buy tickets for either haunted house. Or win tickets below!
Lord Vile’s Shadow Vault: “A Netherworld Nightclub”
October 26, 27, 28, 31
510 W. 29th Street, Next to Spider House
7:30pm-11pm
$13/$10 General/Students, 18+ Only
[website]
These "season passes" will each admit 2 guests to the VIP preview party on October 24th, featuring the Flametrick Subs and Satan's Cheerleaders:
Scare for a Cure Phobia Asylum
October 26-31st
Elks Lodge (700 Dawson Road)
Fri & Sat: 7pm-Midnight
Sun-Wed: 6pm-10pm
$15 Adults, $5 12 and Under
[website]
Four tickets good for any night of Scare for a Cure:
