"When was the last time you saw a stuffed chicken taking phone calls, a mermaid playing an ocean harp, and a burnt-out yet decorated has-been singing to a cat in a litter box?”, asked Rebecca Havemeyer in an email.

Um, not in quite some time, we thought to ourselves.

She continued, “It’s time to get your pennies and prayers together, boys, because a telethon is coming to Austin!”

Rebecca is promoting her Live Telethon Jubilee to raise $1,000. The money will go towards bribing a demolition crew from tearing down the Havemeyer estate, purchased by evangelicals who want to turn it into a hell house during Halloween. Hell houses, she explains, are different from haunted houses — they're used to scare Jesus into kids by reenacting satanic rituals.

Of course, there really isn't a Havemeyer estate or people wanting to tear it down—but there is a Rebecca Havemeyer, and her live performances are part Peewee’s Playhouse and part Ed Sullivan — on crack. She invites guests on stage while she sings songs and fires off sassy one-liners. Tomorrow’s performance includes a visit from the ocean harp-playing Mermaiden; other regulars from previous performances will also make an appearance, including Rebecca’s son Jimmy via satellite and the voice of Rebecca’s pen-pal, Illeana Jorge, calling from prison.

Rebecca Havemeyer’s Live Telethon Jubilee 2007
Music and visuals by DJ fStar
Saturday, September 22nd
Club de Ville (900 Red River)
9:30pm, $5

Rebecca Havemeyer [Official Site] [Myspace]

Flier courtesy of Rebecca Havemeyer; photo by Mitch Soileau. View Rebecca Havemeyer's live performance of "Between The Legs" with Rufus Wainwright after the jump.