Austinist: Truesday: On Festing

guest

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 17:04:11 -0600

craig, that is *completely* how i felt before the bjork show. about the nastiness. i waited in line for a half hour (at dusk, mind you) for the privilege of standing in a small plastic room filled with human waste. but it felt oddly...revelatory. maybe in the sense of metaphor, e.g., this is what will happen if environmentalists don't win the battle (outside of ACL's domain). some deep sh-t for y'all, no pun intended.

truecraig

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 16:45:45 -0600

Oh, I never meant to recommend that anyone wait until AFTER dark to start DRINKING. Lord no. That's not my style. If you have booze, or access to it, you have an obligation to your bored liver to dive right into that pool of futuremistakes. Unless you're a communist robot. I meant to wait until AFTER dark to start PISSING. So that the darkness could help cloak the nastiness contained in those port-o-lets. That's all. Next year, the sombreros will RUN THE FEST. Bet. Thanks for the recap, shifter.

shifter

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 14:26:50 -0600

ok - a retrospective on the whole festivus. chairs: true - not good to bring and lug around. fortunately one of the planning czars provided for the lazy and have created a chair barn (storage area) so that they can be left (abandoned) when the urge to rush the stage comes. of course chairs are essential to the building of a rest area / chair line for those that travel in large groups. drinking: don't drink before sundown is by far the lamest festival advice ever. drink. drink when you arrive at 11 and continue until 10. however the drinks you drink should be properly chosen . make sure that there is always water and lots of it. then figure on how to mix vodka with the various tasty agents available in the festival (tea, lemonade, etc). I will secede the point that holding off on drinking beer until sundown is a fairly good idea. for one, you're buzzed on vodka / rum / whiskey / gin drinks and beer is the perfect longevitator. and two: beer isn't exactly the optimal hydration drink for mid-day scorchers. that's all for now. one more thing craig: your mensa question has been answered: http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=1389088723&size=l also, sombreros were out in moderate force; not nearly the turnout hoped for though.

SolMan

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 13:27:34 -0600

ACL survival tips/rants: Don't bring a chair! Do you want to haul that thing around all day? Do you want to be stuck in one place all day? Chairs suck. Push your way toward the front of the stage like a proper rock and roller. Don't drink before sundown. You'll feel a lot better if you get your drunk on in the cool of the evening. If you start drinking at 1, you'll be wanting to nap by 6. Or you'll be in the medical tent. Either way, not the best use of your limited beer funds. Bring your suit and go jump in Barton Springs. It'll instantly lower your body temperature. And, it's right across the street. I didn't really "get" Barton Springs until I jumped in after spending hours in the 108 degree heat at ACL. Sunscreen helps. So does a hat, it's like being in the shade all day. Besides, you'll look stupid when melanoma takes out the top chunk of your ear. Don't eat anything else before sundown. Eat like a Buddhist while the sun shines. Then get drunk and overload on meat products. The shuttle bus is for suckers. Huge lines coming in and insane lines if you leave after the headliner. Walk, ride a bike or take a pedicab. Don't wait in line for the portapotty. There is a portapotty somewhere with less than 3 people waiting in front of it. Seek and ye shall find. Don't just go to the nearest one like a lazy, stupid sheeple.

guest

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 10:04:18 -0600

yer ma.

b

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 09:42:31 -0600

when i wrote that, bre, i never meant to almost kill you -- i swear. but who was the comeback kid with the omni joke?

guest

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 19:35:37 -0600

Hey. Does this guy say anything in all those words about how to sneak in for free? I only want to listen to one song. Promise I'll leave right after.

Bre

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 18:14:03 -0600

This whole thread makes me incredibly, incredibly happy. "that's some joke to make about the american astronomical society." I am nearly dead with laughter. Well played, all.

truecraig

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 16:46:43 -0600

I predict that this year's ACL will be "the year of the sombrero plague". Odds on that?

guest

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 16:45:34 -0600

let's hope all the people with chairs cancel...

guest

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 16:34:14 -0600

I think I wil ride a bus downtown, make me a big straw hat out of palm leaves, the kind that covers my whole body, and write on the outside, "LET MY PEOPLE GO! UGLY HATS WANT TO LIVE IN THE TRASH CAN!" and invade the Stephen F. That might be fun.

guest

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 16:24:53 -0600

Ah yes, chicken cones accompanied by smuggled titos mixed with sweat leaf tea await; a true festival tradition. This year's dark horse is boomerang pies with gin accompaniment (both newly introduced last year). I think I'll attempt to invade the beach area yet again and build fortifications that allow for the simultaneous defense of Austin Ventures / Blue Room area while remaining within striking distance of AT&T. Proper moat construction and use of tall-boy cans should allow for a LEED rating of silver, which appeases the chair people while the sand confuses those that sway. The only danger is the ingenuous infiltration techniques of drunkly rampaging toddlers and their inattentive guardians.

guest

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 16:12:27 -0600

or "Truesday: On Fisting" Well Craig, any heretofore unpublicised interest in rectum abuse? Rectum? I nearly killed 'em! I'll tell you who wrote this when I see you Thursday!

guest

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 16:09:05 -0600

Oh shut up already. I been listening to KGSR all day trying to win tickets and I'm about ready to put a rake through the face of the first person I see sporting a wristband and / or a strawbomination.

cymblue

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 15:56:21 -0600

Oh, Chicken Cones. You are only 3 days away!

guest

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 15:51:54 -0600

Everytime I see this over on the left I think it says "Truesday: On Farting". Kind of like Oat Willie. Onward through the fart.

truecraig

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 15:24:32 -0600

I hear the Murderous Heat might have to cancel their appearance if too few: infants, infirms, or octogenarians show up to Zilker by noon on Friday.

guest

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 15:23:24 -0600

funny, you!

guest

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 15:14:19 -0600

No no no. I was talking about the Statesman. But the other AAS is reporting that the moon might cancel if she doesn't get the penthouse suite at the Omni.

guest

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 15:07:20 -0600

that's some joke to make about the american astronomical society.

guest

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 14:55:52 -0600

The AAS is reporting that the porta potties are now cancelling for ACL. They're tired of getting shat on all the time.

oh steph

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 14:29:50 -0600

Damn it #8, I just peed in my pants a little. I am pretty certain that the only thing that would make me riot would be if Hudson's on the Bend cancelled their Chicken Cone set.

guest

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 13:27:34 -0600

i heard dylan's moustache is cancelling its ACL performance.

Benj

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 12:04:27 -0600

'Dylon' are an ironically-named act, duh. It's those emaciated Scandinavian twins with all the pedals and egg-shakers. I'm just pissed they're playing at the exact same time as Arcade Tire.

themo

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 12:04:16 -0600

i think Craig was referencing the rapper from the Islands on Chappelle's Show bit about Making the Band. stupid viacom

uselessgoo

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 12:04:14 -0600

smuggled in vodka swaying drunk it will be a good time indeed.

guest

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 12:00:09 -0600

bob pylon

truecraig

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 12:00:02 -0600

I spit hot fiah! Corrected, and many thanks to guest.

heyzeus

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 11:56:32 -0600

Dy-lon?

guest

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 11:50:25 -0600

Dylan. Not Dylon.