September 10, 2007
The Stranger
Editors’ note: The opinions and ideas expressed in The Accidental Gentrifist are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the outlook and belief of anyone else in the Ist network.
It happened again last night. A new acquaintance practically bent over backwards to relate that she’s one of the few people in Austin who’re actually ‘from’ here. As if to differentiate some difference in status, some kind of otherness. Specifically, that the otherness ...is me.
Sorry. Sorry I’ve only lived here for a decade. Sorry I was born in Houston. Sorry I grew up in the chilly afternoons and fog-swept hills of Northern California. Don’t blame me, blame the U.S. Navy. After all, it was the Navy that had the distinct lack of decency to deposit my father, a native Texan newly loosed from Vietnam, on the godforsaken shores of California. In the same city, it turned out, as a pizza waitress who would become my mom. (I know, I know. And you thought they were only cruel in Cambodia.)
Only on this, the twelfth or thirteenth occasion of coming face to face with this a priori postulation, does it occur to that there’s some kind of breakdown in logic going on here. As in, I made an effort to move here, whereas the people who claim to be native—well, they just fell out of their moms’ vaginas. Now, I realize the tech industry and a large university have helped attract a large and most welcome influx from the subcontinent, but I’m just not willing to adopt a caste system, not yet. Not even one that keeps it weird, or clarifies seating arrangements on the hypothetical light rail. So, again: Sorry. Unless you’re Lipan Apache, or a grackle, you really can’t claim birthright.
And I’ve heard your stories about Liberty Lunch and Janis Joplin and when the cops used to be cool… they’re just as boring as when they were about Berkeley Square, or Haight-Ashbury, or when a lid of Chico sticky was $10. I’ll recognize that you had a great time in a place that no longer exists, if you’ll please recognize that what you’re nostalgic for isn’t a venue, but your youth. Sometimes, sadly, you just can’t go home again. Austin will get bigger. Strangers will move here. There will be a building named ‘Austonian’. Life, including the parts you truly love, is fleeting. Maybe el Niño or a few earthquakes would help drive this point home.
I’ll admit it, I used to play ball. My great-grandparents owned the old hardware store in downtown Austin, since before the First Boer War, appropriately enough. They had one of the city’s first telephones and lived katty-corner from the Hoggs. So when some native used to try to punk me, I’d trot that little factoid out. To curry favor and a sense of fraternity, I suppose. But no longer. Now, when people ask me where I’m from, I’ll obviate some of the truth, and truncate the rest: I’ll say, “California!” like, totally super loud!
Ironically, some of these same Texan ancestors of mine left to start a new city in California, one they named after themselves. You may know of the Circle Jerks’ song “Firebaugh.” As in, “If your car breaks down, don't take a tow to Firebaugh” … because it’s a dystopian wasteland of violence, racism, alcoholism—and yet—boredom. Oh, what hath Texas wrought?
And sure, since you mention it, I am a little sensitive to the whole ‘Californians are flocking here, buying up real estate and homogenizing local culture’ ideology. Because it’s just not true. It’s a generalization. A stereotype that’s more reflective of your own fear and ignorance than any actual phenomenon. About as on-beam as saying gypsies steal children, or that Jews need the blood of Christian virgins, otherwise the matzoh comes out all doughy. Or that Mexicans are leprocidal wage invaders. Or maybe you’re right-on. Maybe we’re on the verge of a massive wave of people uprooting from Santa Cruz and Marin and Santa Barbara, spontaneously deciding to give up six-figure jobs, valley produce, seven months of skiing, and an Eden-like coastline—in order to live in a hot-as-seven-hells, ocean-less city surrounded by Republicans, with scant options for decent Italian food, and where the word queso doesn’t actually mean ‘cheese.’ But Lord, do we have football. And music. And healthy, pretty, friendly people... rare enough for a place with both good football and good music. My point is, you're not going to get on the boat unless you're already on board, so to speak.
And, like Haley Joel Osment, I see dead people. I see them queuing up at The Oasis instead of Dry Creek Saloon. I see them in burnt-orange knit shirts tucked into Dockers, I see them with cell phones clipped to woven leather belts like flaccid pistols. I see them drinking Shiner and Ziegenbock instead of Live Oak. I hear them blasting the ‘new’ Metallica album instead of Doug Sahm, Scott Biram, or even Spoon, as they pilot their Mercedes convertible… down the bike lane. I see them backing their Chevy Tahoes into the fenders of bumper-stickered old Volvos. I see them not tipping in coffee shops. I see them vote for The Hair in lieu of Kinky. (I see myself now engaging in the same native Culture Police snobbery I’ve come to miss when I go home for the holidays.) These people … are from Texas. While not everyone who emigrated from California is cool, most of us came here to embrace local customs and eschew homogenous national culture. We want to buy local. We want to drink beer in a movie theatre. Basically, we want to be here, because we want to be here. So back off if we want to own instead of rent. Nobody who really likes Austin wants it to slip through their fingers, and there is no newspaper quiz or birth certificate or genetic strain that can determine who actually appreciates this city. My oldest Austin roots are now tombstones and dust, a quality we'll all share soon enough.
So please, Austinites native and non, realize that your xenophobia is beneath you. Besides, discriminating against someone because of where they’re from hasn’t worked out so well for us as a species. Let’s truly embrace all forms of diversity, and give émigré Californians the benefit of the doubt… unless of course they’re from Southern California, in which case I advise you to burn them at the stake.
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uh oh...he said it...
Here's my standard response whenever I hear some supercilious "native Texan" spewing that "Austin is too big. Go back to California" blather:
If Austin stopped growing, it'd be Waco.
What I say when I see someone complaining about native Austinites that want to keep living here complaining about people moving in is, "MOVE AWAY IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT".
That's logical, is it not?
As for the whole Californication thing, they already talked it out over here:
http://www.yelp.com/topic/01vY6RAqlYtWTUWOgInsBw#BEiaXfXiddRzz8KKgpsbMQ
Before you start spouting off that there's not an influx of Californians moving to Austin (not Texas, Austin) you need to either work in a condo development office so you can talk to the Californians every day or know somebody that works in a condo office that you can listen to complain about Californians all day or work as / for a realtor or try to sublet an apartment without subletting to a Californian. Just because you don't see them doesn't mean they're not out there. Hell, look at that yelp board. Every other thread is some Californian bitching about Tex Mex.
I've met plenty of native Austinites who are assholes. I've met plenty of so-called transplants who are assholes. Let's all just agree that we love Austin, and all the people who make it unique -- regardless of where they were when they fell out of a vagina -- and we can do without the assholes.
I think the point is that nobody wants to talk about this anymore, it gets us nowhere, and it changes nothing to rehash this same old shit all the fucking time.
Good column; hopefully a lot of austinist readers will take it in.
Whenever I hear someone complaining about someone who complained about a complainer complaining about a complaint that others felt compelled to file complaints on, well, a slimy abortion of irony drops from my nose, my left eye loses the ability to discern the color blue, and I forget how to cry for a whole month.
Anyone else ever experience this? It's crazy.
I heard you, TrueCraig. The smurfs was ruined for me for a month. Well, half a month.
Exactly.
If you're going to complain about people complaining, be set to be cast in the same light as the original complainers.
Well played, Ben. Stayed above the fray and all. And excellent closing line. I can't believe that it inspired more baying from the peanut gallery. actually, i guess i can.
As a multi transplant (Ct,Fl,Ca,Ct,Japan,Fl,Va,Ak, and finally, Tx) courtesy of the military, I've had the fortune to live many places over the last 20-something years. My biggest pet peeve is the "You should have been here 5/10/15 etc. years ago when it was REALLY cool" crowd. Gee, sorry for moving here and fucking it up for you. Look, if you don't like it any more spare me the whining and piss off. It's a safe bet it was cool "back in the day" because of the people you hung with. If they're not hanging with you now maybe the problem is YOU.
Just what a Californican would say!!
(jk! I love everyone!)
My biggest pet peeve is the "You should have been here 5/10/15 etc. years ago when it was REALLY cool" crowd.
That's the way Austin has ALWAYS been. EVERYONE has had to put up with it and now it's your turn. DEAL WITH IT OR MOVE.
Well played, Ben. Stayed above the fray and all. And excellent closing line. I can't believe that it inspired more baying from the peanut gallery. actually, i guess i can.
...because your complaining is justified while other people's complaints are not. I guess it's that way because you've been on this website longer, huh?
truecraig, your comment sucked. Go back to california.
i just think there's too much pointless whining, guest #15. at least ben is being constructive, and suggesting people just accept what is happening (change) and move on. if you think austin is changed, 15, and it, like, totally sucks and will never be the same, fine. but what will a bunch of complaining on a blog do about it? about as much as going into your garage and hitting a punching bag. or less.
and i agree with Mike, Craig, move back to disneyland, you MEANY!
Holy Buffalo!
You just gave a shout out to Lipan Apaches? No one EVER remembers the Lipan Apaches!
I've been an Austinite for 14 years, but I've been Lipan forever. I've got cred I never knew I had! Sweet!
~ Terry O
Oh, and this one bears repeating:
Q - How many Austinites does it take to change a lightbulb?
A - 1,000. 1 to change it, and the other 999 to complain about how cool the old light bulb used to be.
~ TO
Well I think there's too much pointless whining about the pointless whining, the California Horse has been beaten to death, and bringing it up again and again thinking your words are going to change people's minds about being nice to strangers is just useless.
How many Californians are getting verbally or physically assaulted in the streets everyday by virtue of them being Californians? Maybe 1. Maybe. All summer long.
How many Californians are getting verbally beat up online everyday? All of them. All. Every day all summer long.
How do you get people to back off the Californians that chose to live here? By bringing up the same tired old arguments about being nice to people and accepting them and trying to get along? No. By telling people that hate Californians that they're full of shit? No. You stop it by putting a city wide moritorium on all discussion of Californians at least until Christmas and by not goading people on.
When I moved to Austin 10 years ago, everyone was talking about how I should have been there 10 years before, since Austin was so much cooler before (fill in the blank). I guess some things never change.
I do miss Liberty Lunch, though.
As a native Austinite who moved to Berkeley, I too feel the pain of the unwelcome transplant. (Try moving to a place where the oldest and loudest residents literally want the city to shrink and farms reinstalled. Yes, I'm serious.)
"But I'm from Austin!" doesn't do much to convince these crunchy old hippies that I'm really not the devil.
Be nice, Austinites! Better they come from California than almost anything else within 1000 miles.
Unless you’re Lipan Apache, or a grackle, you really can’t claim birthright.
Actually, even the great-tailed grackle is a recent immigrant (from Mexico, though). Irony alert: They've recently invaded northern California.
http://montereybay.com/creagrus/grackles.html
Being a transplant from the other LA or Louisiana, I totally agree with the idea of moving here to be here because I love Austin.
Its the place I wanted to be a part of since the first time I visited almost 10 years ago. And when the chance to move here arrived I jumped on it immediately.
I have made friends with Austinites, but even some of them are transplants from other areas, but grew up here at some point. Or claim this as there real home town after moving from somewhere else in Texas.
Even when I was living in Louisiana I ran into people from other places that were trying to get out of where they were and they found something else they wanted. So they moved there. I would not choose to live in Louisiana if I were not from there, but to some it just fits.
Austin WAS something else at one time and IS something else now. Just like New Orleans WAS and New Olreans IS. Times change, people change and opinions change. Austin is no different than any where else in that respect.
But if Austin had 4 seasons, this place would have blown up a long time ago. Its just now catching the eye of everyone else that can deal with the heat year round.
Long live Austin without the hate from the insiders...
Calm down Mikey, it's not like I'm advocating the Lady Bird's amoeba Lake be drained and filled to make room for eight new city-funded Walmarts. The point of my comment was that complaints on top of complaints (comment #3) cause me to lose faith in humanity (unless done so with sarcasm, #3, which would actually bolster my faith).
Why? Because I feel that Ben's column wasn't a complaint on a complaint, by any definition. It's a stable, well-founded argument against a shaky, flimsy-based complaint. He's simply pointing out what he feels is an illogical (hypocritical) stance, commonly perpetrated here in Austin (and everywhere else, throughout all of written history): the "anti-them & anti-change" stance.
Then, just to show some levity and humor, he whips it around on himself in the final words, thus bringing some good ol' fashioned self-mockery into play.
Disneyland here I come!
Wow, the second post you've had on here and its just about as selfishly designed as the first. Well done Ben, besides trying to rip off True Craig's style of humor you continue to distribute you dislike of Austinites in a public forum. Really, if YOU don't like the way people here are (which appears to be the case) why don't you just leave? I guess taking your own advice isn't something HDBs do? On top of that, why even bring it up if you're so above everyone else in you non-judging ways?
truecraig,
You should have been here on austinist ten months ago, man.
craig, i think mike was employing our old friend sarcasm, but i could be wrong. tell me i'm not wrong, mike.
Totally. Now it's all Big Brother'd out. Paradise paved.
Craig's sarcasm radar is definitely busted if he thinks #3 was being serious.
Dear Anonymous #26,
You found me out.
I'm really, really sorry I ripped off Craig. I'm just glad somebody caught me in time, before it really got out of hand. I was about to make copies of his house keys right before I read your comment. Please don’t share the fruits of your amazing perception.
(I don't see an enormous likeness, but I'll accept the compliment.)
It's my 3rd post, actually. The 4th one's going to be about comics! And the 2nd one wasn't even about Austinites, per se. Sure, I'll admit that still puts me at 1/2 negative. Or 1/2 not completely positive. But I'm not really worried about it. Sometimes I actually lose time thinking about all the things I like and how much I like them. But I'm pretty sure that if I wrote that up, you'd hate it even more than my efforts thus far. At least you were kind enough to write something tamer than the average response to a post about Spoon or tacos.
The ‘If You Don’t Like It, Move’ sentiment was tired by the time it was ‘Love It or Leave It,’ or ‘Go Back to Africa.’ And, by the way, just as intelligent.
The funny part to me is all the levels of firstism.
Local or not, you can't even move from one hood to another without someone telling you your a late douche bag, and they've been there since Stevie Ray Vaughn pissed in the gutter. Fuck it, is it really that crowded that people are getting so uptight?
Yes. Not only crowded but expensive.
How is "If you don't like it, move" even on the same planet as "Go back to Africa"? It's not like slaves had choices as to where they wanted to live. Anytime you move to a town, if you don't like it, you always have the option to move. There are always cheaper places out there, better places out there, different jobs.
Austin isn't what it used to be but since when has living in the past been cool?
"Austin" was "Dead" as soon as Keep Austin Weird shirts were available.
Who cares though? If you don't like the direction you see the town headed in, do something about it.
Dose the city water supply with LSD or something.
I grew up in Austin for 18 years and my parents have been in Austin for 36 years and we like the "Keep Austin Weird" slogan.
The only Austin that's dead is Stephen F. Austin himself. Pray he doesn't read this thread.
Even though Austin has changed a lot since I've moved here (11 yrs ago from Lubbock), I like it more the longer I live here. Austin is what you make of it. If you focus on the bad and constantly complain, you'll never enjoy it.
Like the article says - everything does change. It was different before you were here - even if you were born here. And "what you’re nostalgic for isn’t a venue, but your youth" - captures it exactly.
If you're really unhappy about Austin, move to Lubbock or an even more conservative Texas town. And you'll come back with a whole new outlook. And dirt in your teeth. And maybe a pet prairie dog.
I'm so glad that I grew up in the outskirts of town, aka Round Rock, and that I got the chance to drive into town on Burnet road to go see shows at places like Liberty Lunch when I was just a wee adolescent. However, I can honestly say that the only thing that made any of those places or things remarkable was that I was a wide eyed kid experiencing and exploring the closest thing that I had to a "big city." It's the very reason why I still live here, not because I was simply dropped out of my mom's hoo-ha at Seton Hospital, but because Austin is my home, and where I became the person I am today. And I am more than happy to share that home and all of the new super-exciting things that will come along with people from any place in the world. Perhaps more tenured residents just aren't exploring enough to find the new and interesting things Ausin has to offer, and that's why they think it used to be so much cooler? I mean, I took a Hula dancing class yesterday at Ballet Austin for FREE. And last week, I discovered the best Al Pastor Taco that I have ever had on east Riverside. Golly-gee, I could just kiss all of you square on the lips, that's how excited I am to still be in Austin!
"Benj" it's good to see that you continue doing what you get called out for and then don't even know you're doing it. Pot meet kettle. Your reply to #26 is interesting to say the least. It would appear that he or she hit the nail on the head. And the "intelligence" you portray with you "Back to Africa" comment is stunning. Nonthing but pure class and tolerance. I'm sure people are holding their breath in anticipation of another ill willed article. Maybe you can throw in some other racist and insensitive comments next time?
I'll sure try.
The funny thing is, if you felt compelled to comment, I'm sure you were very conscientious and read the WHOLE thing before opening your mouth. So, I'm wondering, if you hate it so much, why spend your time reading it? Go play outside. Trust me, you need it.
Maybe you dislike what I do, sure, but I'm not going to stop. And if you think what you're doing is a public service you're wrong. Maybe I'm a guy on a soap box, okay. But you're just some other guy who comes along later and bitches about a guy standing on a soapbox.
Is it true what Misprint says that you guys have to pay to publish on this site or are they just being snarky again?
Misprint is awesome! Talented, talented motherf*ckers! And yes, their entire catalog overfloweth with snarkasm. That's kind of their gig.
Misprint is indeed awesome. But I think they hate you, dudebrah.
truecraig, if it makes you feel any better i misspelled ronald reagan's name too in this issue.
-bryan/misprint
I've certainly collected my share of detractors since I started writing here, guest, but I doubt Misprint cares enough about what I do to be amongst that group. Even if they were, it wouldn't curb my appreciation for what THEY do.
Yo Bryon, I just finished spelling Bob Dylan's name "Dylon", repeatedly. Isn't that awesome, Bryon?
Git a room, you two.
Born and raised in Austin, left when I was 18 to go to college and the big city. It was fun, but now I'm trying to get back to Austin...Houston sucks! It lacks nightlife and it's all flat and concrete.
I think it's interesting that no one is talking about the only real problem with Californians, or anyone else for that matter (but mostly, honestly, Californians) moving here is the incoming condo bubble that they so lovingly have created for us here in A-town. We simply do not have the infrastructure to fill up those extremely over priced condos nor do we have the public transit necessary to sustain this sort of growth even if WE DO have enough people flocking here. Not only that, but Californian Real-estate, stemming from the Reagan Era has allowed them to sell 1 bedroom houses for 400k, leaving them with this huge surplus with which they can buy multiple houses at the same time here in Austin. Which is creating this weird bubble with property where we have 4 MILLION DOLLAR CONDOS. The idea that you could live anywhere in the world but choose to live in Austin for that price is absurd, you'll never make your money back! So I don't really care about "keeping it weird" or "local" because we're not doing that regardless of what we like to say. I'm not trying to be pro-Austin, so much as realistic. Californians have been moving to Nevada, Arizona and New Mexico, they've finally gotten here. Be prepared to pay more for land taxes, real-estate and the like because of it. TA DA.
Condos are up to $4 million already? I've been telling people that about the condo boom and the special problems that Californians moving to Texas create for about a year now but nobody wants to listen to me. Just like they won't listen to you. All these assholes don't want to hear anything unless it's from some jerk with a doctorate or they've paid someone $5,000 to think it over a couple of minutes or the government tells it to them. You say, "Hey! Nobody can afford to live around here and all the creative people are going to leave!" and they all dismiss it. Some assmonkey makes a report talking about how nobody can live here and they all fawn over it.
Sorry to bring it up, Bryan, if you're still around, but it's like that Spoon song. "Cause you don't talk to the water boy, and there's so much you could learn but you don't want to know." Unless they're paying you 5 figures to tell them Californians are wacking out our real estate, they don't want to hear it. And you're a xenophobe.
Dear guest #50:
"It's so crowded that nobody can afford to live here" remains as convincing an argument as ever.