Welcome to the latest edition of Band Slam!, wherein I navigate the murky waters of Austin's club listings for the best and worst band names playing this week. The only rule: I can't know anything about the actual band, thus limiting my critique strictly to the band's chosen moniker. Let's git 'er done!

Death Is Not A Joyride - Beerland, Thurs 09/06

Isn’t it though? A long, hot, smoky, barreling-through-the-inferno-in-a-stolen-car-with-a-gun-in-each-hand kinda thing? I guess it depends on whether you behaved yourself in your brief moment above ground. Hunter Thompson oughta come back and write a book, he'd settle this.

My Cursive Memory, Dawn Over Zero - Stubb's, Thurs 09/06

Barf. ‘Poetic’ band names don’t really affect one’s enjoyment of good music, but just staring at words like these makes you think that whoever came up with them didn’t.

The JonBenet - Red 7, fri 09/07

Wrong, wrong, wrong. The screamo-band-named-after-doomed-female thing has been done before, a couple times—Jane Doe, Norma Jean—but this is too perfect. These guys actually went to high school with my brother--skinny dyed-black angst-fest types with attitudes, as I recall-so I'm kinda breaking my own rules on this one. But at least they aren't calling themselves As The Leaves Burn or some other such garbage, so they're definitely doing something right. Electro side project: The AnnaNicole?

Prey For Sleep, Dead By Knight - Headhunters, Fri 09/07

Hey look! Two words that sound the same are spelled differently and have com-plete-ly different meanings! We are so gonna own this town.

Superposition - Headhunters, Thurs 09/06

Flying Lotus. Upside-Down Cake. Reverse Cowgirl. Diagonal Lunge. Split Infinitive. Monster-Under-The-Bed. Flying Buttresse.

But will he respect you in the morning?

Ultra Wolf - Parlor, Sat 09/08

"Wolf" bands are almost their own subcontinent within the world of band names, and consequently the reference is getting a little staid. Yeah yeah wolves = strong, danger, sexy, blood and guts etc. etc, but they've eaten everything else in the forest so the ecosystem’s all jacked up now. Tossing in a superlative prefix doesn't change much. How about, I dunno, a nice li'l marmoset?

Jherri Seiggenfeldt's Atropheed Sac - End Of An Ear, Sun 9/9 (CD Release)

Madison Square, here we come.

Betty Sue Aside - Red 7, 9/12

This may take a minute or two to sink in. Wait for the smirk...there! This would seem to be the epitome of a band that lives to bring some much-needed levity to the weekly concert listings. For that alone, Betty Sue Aside, we salute you.

photo by Tweez, courtesy of Flickr