Buying Land in Horseshoe Bay With the Help of Chuck Woolery

So, Guest 28, are you suggesting that Saddam Hussein crashed some planes into the World Trade Center? Because you really do sound that stupid.

it's more than california you need to worry about - i saw the informercial myself on local seattle TV at about 3AM maybe a fortnight ago.

it was actually kind of pathetic how they were whoring out our beloved hill country - the images of austin were pre-Frost Tower, and they accidentally mixed in a few San Antonio clip art shots with the Austin photos, too. Chuck's looking mighty fine for his age, but all he kept on talking about was golf and how EASY it was to qualify.

not to mention they're offering free flights and lodging. they must be mighty desperate to sell the land... it kind of shocked me how low they would go.

27, you seem EXTREMELY sensitive about not being from here, and of any critical mention of Cali. Get therapy, or get over it. Life's too short to mope around town because everyone doesn't embrace you with open arms. Let's be honest, since the white guys showed up, Texas has been inhabited by folks from somewhere else, each group bitching about the next one to arrive. It's your turn now. Take it like a man, and move on. Soon we'll be back to bitching about anything and everything Oklahoma, and you are welcome to join in.

Oh, 21, way to still bitch about people bitching about Texas. Of all things, getting the stand alone Republic date wrong, when Guest was probably talking about the statehood of Texas (as in, officially joining the union of the United States). Huge fact, and worthy of all Californians falling into the ocean.

Fear doesn't appear to be the issue. Annoyance at a local television news crew (did you read the link associated with this piece as the Guest pointed out) perpetrating the stereotypes of outsiders to make them all look like opportunistic a-holes because they dare come to your town and set up shop. If it's that easy put a charge into all things and people Texan by crying about Californians, then just imagine how easy it is for the local news to get you riled up about Saddam destroying the World Trade Center.

#1-25 This is boring.

PS - #23, I assume you were referring to me reading only the first line of #14. Which I actually didn't read any of because I was too excited to call Mr. Katz Deli and Rick Perry heroes after reading everyone else's excitement!

I apologize for the confusion.

#22 and #23, way to take things really seriously including comment #20 which was really not serious in any manner.

Way to read beyond the first line, #20. HA!

If Rick Perry and George W make your list of "greatest Austin heroes" then you really need to get the hell outta this town.

If you are going to talk trash about Texas, you should at least get your facts straight. Texas became a stand-alone republic in 1836, and entered the union as a state in 1845.

If you don't like it here, go somewhere else. If Toothless Jeb scares you, or you are bothered by rednecks swilling beer, we don't need -- or want -- you here.

It's pretty awesome that all those weirdos that Austinites love to claim are what makes Austin weird... aren't even originally from Austin.

Janis? SRV? Britt? Rick Perry? George W? Mr. Katz? The guy who owns Yellow Rose? None of our greatest Austin heroes were born here! Get out of here, you transplanted losers! I bet even Leslie was born somewhere else goddamnit!*

*Except the dudes who own the Mohawk. They're legit.

Austinites have always complained about outsiders.

I'm a native Austinite. I have travelled the world, including California, and always return here. I love this city, and am proud of both the culture and the friendly-ness of MOST of the people in this city.

I don't quite understand the population of Austinites who are proud and boastfull of what makes our city so great, and then are equally boisterous about keeping "outsiders" out...

The transplants moving to Texas, by and large are choosing to pay MORE in Austin than they would in Houston, Dallas and San Antonio. Maybe they share more values with us than you think...

Whether you are an open minded human a Califernian or a toothless Jeb is ultimately up to you.

95% of the people bitching about the Californians weren't born in Austin either. So tell your transplanted ass to cease giving a fuck about what people think about your previous home city/state. Reading Austinist comments will not help you feel at home in your new city, Californian guest. That would be like asking Larry Craig how he likes security at the Minneappolis airport.

Paul's Boutique!

It's not all your fault though. You were led here by the promise of cheap (to you) condos which are a result of our illustriously normal mayor Will Wynn (a.k.a. Napoleon Bonaparte).

Austin has traditionally been a place for your Janis Joplins and Biscuit Turners. Weirdos from small towns in Texas that didn't belong could move to Austin and find people that were just as weird as them. That included people from other states as well, just not in such a great abundance. In fact, if you weren't a weirdo and moved to Austin, people used to excuse that with a, "Well, she must be from Dallas or Houston" and then assumed we'd be rid of you once you moved back home after college unless you got absorbed into some weirdo sub-culture.

Other than the rising property values (which is a HUGE concern) the problem with the Californians is that they're not weird. They're anti-weird. They're moving here because they can't afford to live in California and they assume that because Austin is liberal, it's the same brand of liberalism they know and love. They just assume that Austinites will love them because Austin is California Jr. and it is not like that at all. If you're fro California and you're insistant on invading Austin, you're going to have to recognize things like the fact that Texas is the best state in the country and if you dare say it isn't, you're gonna get punched. That's just the tip of the iceberg. There's so much to being a Texan and being a Californian that you just can't pretend to be or hide. If you want to be accepted, you're going to have to learn how to assimilate. Until then, Austinites that feel there are too many of you here are gonna treat you like Californian trash.

I am guessing the people who get annoyed with "out of towners" were born here. After all, that would make you a hypocrite if you came from elsewhere in Texas or the world...

Given some of the comments I read here, it would appear that some of these "true austinites" are assholes... I do not believe the "problem" is coming from out of town...

Why don't you just go on back to Cali, Cali, Cali? Go on back to Cali cause you ain't happy here?

Oh, Austin, you're so special. You're the Live Music Capital of the World, afterall, deep in the heart of non-pretentious Central Texas. Where folk are really simple and swell, like a walnut outside its shell. Having George W. Bush as a two term governor of this fine state is proof alone that Central Texans really don't care if you're from Texas or not. As long as you give the folks here a hearty handshake and a fond how-do-you, then nothing is really going to matter.

KXAN could say whatever they want to. Like, don't blame yourselves for developing land and laying down concrete and raising property values. Blame the Californians. (They got alien blood, y'know.) Even if the people moving here aren't from California. Because no matter those other license plates in town, it's California, a state made up of many people not from California, that is the cause of Texas being bombarded with all them "other" people.

You're too perfect for that, Texas. Bigger than France. A Republic since 1845, and look at how great things have been going. Improving race relations, a great prison system, innovative standardized testing in the schools. If it wasn't for those Cali faggots moving to Horseshoe Bay with their narcissitic style of life, it'd remain this way. But, alas, the heyday is done. Your fate sealed by those who were born 1000 miles away.

Say, if one of you fine, down home folk decide to shoot me with one of your concealed weapons, would you make sure I don't get buried here? It'd be a shame if that happened, y'know?

Signed,

Your pretentious, cuntlike, childish, and oh-so annoying Californian living in Texas and running a business that has employed 10-15 people here for the greater part of the past decade.

These air nationwide. I used to work at the place that edits these gems. They have these "waterfront" properties in several states, not just here. You too can buy this waterlogged property only 4 hours to historic Hot Springs Arkansas! Eric Estrada does a spectacular job hosting as well.

More people from Cali should move here. People in Austin are so down to Earth and full of common sense that we need some stupidity and pretentiousness (sp?) to even things out.

See, that's just it, #6. First lesson about being a Texan: nobody gives a shit about your personal hardships unless they're real. You would never hear a Real Texas Man whining because some guy at a gas station made him feel dirty.

"Point being? Don't blame the dude from California for your own ignorant bullshit. Give that a shot, Central Texas."

Or you could start acting like a Texan so that you wouldn't stick out like an ugly sore thumb. When you do that, people will probably stop harassing you.

Funny thing is, #5, that within 72h of moving to Austin, I was indeed told by a toothless guy at a gas station with the name tag Jeb on his shirt that I was, primarily, the harbinger of all doom upon Austin. Because, see, I had Cali plates on my car.

Now I know for a fact that you weren't there that day. I can also tell that you didn't read the KXAN story attributed to this post. Click on that link, and you'll get to read a transcript about how narcissitic Californians are taking over Central Texas because we are, apparently, evil creatures of property value raising hell. Which ought to do my new neighbors across the street from me who paid twice what I paid for my house 5 years ago some good because they're from Missouri.

Douchebag or not, the one cunt on this part of this Austinist is clearly you.

California Guest #1 has the cuntiness factor in full effect today. I love how he (or she, but more likely a he) is so quick to cry foul at "Califernian" stereotypes while making sure to throw in a few toothless redneck jabs in there for good measure. Get bent, douche.

Those infomercials were running in the NYC area 1-2 years ago. Every once in a while I'd fall asleep in front of the TV and wake up when it was on. I remember hearing the selling point "just 1 hour from Austin", which they indicated was a good place to shop. Sigh.

Hey Shilli, in the title you missed an "e" in Horseshoe

^^^^^^^ Sounds like someone peed in California Guest's coffee this morning.

Here's the thing about California: A lot of people who live there, are not from there. In other words, they themselves have moved from the Midwest, in order to find a career in entertainment; from the East Coast, in order to find nicer weather; from the South, in order to not find a bunch of rednecked beer guzzlers; from other countries, in order to find "Hollywooo".

My parents weren't born in California. Mom was a 2 year-old, taken out there by my grandparents after WWII when they settled in the Valley. Dad was a grad student who moved to LA on a whim after seeing that there wasn't a blizzard during the 1964 Rose Bowl game.

When I moved to Austin (8 years ago), I was confronted by Jeb the Toothless during my car exam (so that I could exchange my license plates ASAP): "Looks like we've got another Califernian in town." 2 months later, Jeb's gas station (the Phillips on Lamar and Barton Springs) shut down. I guess that was my fault. You know, for being born in California as a product of two East Coasters.

Point being? Don't blame the dude from California for your own ignorant bullshit. Give that a shot, Central Texas. Or come find and key my car. Maybe you could throw rocks through my living room window. Because, as we Californians know, if you're not California, you must be from someplace else.