In the hopes of increasing registered and polite participation in our comments section, Austinist has decided to publish a "Top 5" list of our favorite reader responses from the past week. There are no prizes this week, but one never knows what might develop in the future. Now, on to the main attraction!

1 "I'm gazing into the abyss, but all I'm seeing is a 6-BR split-level mansion, with swimming pool & cabana in back."

"Yes, by all means we shouldn't let the unwashed masses occupy our sacred waterfront acreage. Lake Austin was built solely for cultured people like yourself with the money to buy $3 million waterfront mansions."

kenneth1, on Hill Country whiners and Lake Austin snobbery

Doubling up on the snark and accolades, we have not one but two winning comments from kenneth1 this week. Remember to wash up before you meet with your real estate agent about that 6-BR in the Abyss. Does that come with a cabana boy? (Kenneth1, will you be our cabana boy?)

2 "This research is bogus. We all know that people have sex because god wants us to produce children."

sean, on Why we have sex

This is the word of the Lord. Amen.

3 "If you care about it being boring, then you're not comfortable. Then again, if you've intentionally [popped] the collar, you're just a douche."

Scooby, on Fashion.

"Douche" is one of our favorite words, and we particularly appreciate the creative use of the word in a phrase other than "hipster douchebag." And with regard to comfort, we can't say much about David Beckham's style, but it was scientifically proven that Posh Spice's wardrobe is unfit for the human body.

4 "I can recall a time where most people seemed to think that being an Austinite and a Texan meant making an attempt to be friendly and inviting."

Patrick C., on Suburban sprawl

Aww, we're gettin' all misty-eyed here. Thanks for giving us hope that we might get back to the old days. Eventually. Maybe.

5 "There is nothing cuter than ducklings in a teacup. Well, except maybe hedgehogs in a gravy boat."

math, on Ducks in cups

We hate to reward one of our own, but "hedgehogs in a gravy boat" is a phrase truly worthy of repetition. And awwws. And "OMG WANT"s. And cursing Google image search for only having measuring cup hedgehogs.

Honorable Mentions: Guests are generally exempt from recognition in this commentary "contest" thang, but we decided to recognize these two in hopes they'd register and become real live important commenters! Despite not signing their names, these guest commenters retained some modicum of cordiality while also managing to be mildly amusing. Kudos times two.

"I like tying Schlitz to the end of a string at Lombardi shows and watching all the kids follow it around."

guest #4, on Gallery Lombardi's new show

"MVSCLZ is not 'a dude in spangly underwear and a black cape doing push-ups and cock-rocking out to old Mayhem cassettes,' but a mustachioed homo in short shorts aerobicizing to eastern bloc disco."

Amanda Joy, on MVSCLZ

We appreciate that guest #4 managed to combine humor with some relatively level-headed and not-overly-insulting (if possibly reductionist) commentary about the different types of art galleries in Austin, and we like that Amanda Joy tried to be at least somewhat entertaining when providing some helpful corrections. Being accurate and funny without too much nastiness? Who'd have thought it possible?! Extra points to guest #4 for using "graffiti" and "blarney" in a single sentence later in that same comment. If only all guests would comment this way—actually, if only all guests would register. Hmph.

More comment action next week!

Hedgehog image from numo hedgehog blog