Cockfight Ethics: Bring Me The Ugly

[Editor's note: Cockfight Ethics is a biweekly column written by a long-time Austin opinion-monger and word-slanger, Percy Julian. The opinions expressed herein are the writer’s, and the writer’s alone. They do not necessarily represent those of the Austinist or its editorial staff.]

If the other articles don’t hurt me later, this one will, initially. I go to Spider House and Beauty Bar quite often. And each time, I can’t help but to think “Are these kids just trying to out shitty each other?” It just seems to me that those who doth profess to be so into fashion don’t look good. Their hair looks like they are recovering from cancer, or it’s so Ramone you feel like you’re talking to a sheep dog. These kids, or whatever they might refer to themselves as, seem to take pleasure in who can look the more homeless.

“I haven’t shaved or bathed in 3 weeks, maaan,” the want-to-be tramp says to the eager other.

“Oh yeah? Well I paid exactly $0.92 for this entire outfit, I’ve been growing this beard for eight months, and I haven’t bathed since the last time I jerked off….maaan,” the want-to-be Jizzly Adams says to the guy.

That’s how it goes down, I swear. I heard that exact conversation at a party once.

Also, is it a prerequisite to have gone to New York to be trashy-chic? ‘Cause they always talk about New York and go on about places that I can only assume are there. Thing is, I’ve been to places too, and normally it’s not a laundry list of places when I relate the experience. Maybe it’s just me, but my anecdotes normally include people, places and things I might have been up to. Not just “I went to Brooklyyyyn and I sooo couldn’t wait to get back to Manhataaan.”

Trustafarians aside, the above critique was actually my perspective from a couple of years ago. If you weren’t paying attention, I did mention that you’ll often find me at two of the bastions of these people. There must be a reason, and it ain’t hate. I have become intrigued by the trendy metro hipster emo punks Austin has birthed. So much in fact, that I now own several $300 jeans and $100 t-shirts. Sick, ain’t it?

Apparently all the crappy clothes and bad haircuts are a bit costly. Still shitty, but expensive, and that’s what intrigues me. Outwardly the shit looks jacked, only thing is that when it’s on you can feel the craftsmanship; there is definitely a substantial difference in the craftsmanship and quality. Seemingly the only thought that goes into the design of the hipster apparel is just a copying rocker and punk styles from the late seventies to mid-eighties. Sleeveless shirts, headbands and the like. And the attention to detail is what gets me. I get to witness the underground of an era that I never would have seen without a time machine. It’s a world brought back to life that went unseen even in its day and has pushed its way to the fore front decades later. Better later than never I suppose. How many counterculture styles so far from the mainstream creep out of obscurity and come back better than they were, and couture? (Honestly I’m not sure what that means) I just think it’s pretty hilarious and cool that I can see parents’ children dress like the scummy kids their parents would have avoided like the plague when they were their children’s age.

Another thing: although they are banal and shallow as the people wearing them, these styles are eye catching and unforgettable. It’s a true scene once again. Real scenes don’t happen all the time. I was into underground hip-hop. Though at the time it wasn’t good to say so, but it was a scene, a fad that has all but gone away, and that is unfortunate.

Hip-hop was also all about style. Not just in what you were wearing, but how you carried yourself in those clothes. Hip-hop was a lifestyle, and if I haven’t missed, my guess is that it still lives on in many of these scenester hip-kids. I especially see it in the music and the dancing in some ways.

More to the point, most of the music is electronic in some aspect; usually the beats. Hmmm. Also the music is geared for a certain type of weird, on-beat / off-beat, jerk your shoulders type dancing often ending sequences with flourishes of head nodding or feet stamping. I like the feet stamping. Head nodding is done too often, but the foot stamp with maybe a short-haired head swish “…is Nice!” Oh yeah, and my biggest clue is that every time the dance floor gets bumpin’ and the DJs happen to play something with a little old school flavor, I always see some girls who know what the fuck they’re doing. And if you’re a music snob and have to have some real world examples try A-Trak, Hot Chip, Avenue D, Ghostland Observatory, and Miss Kitten.

The hip-hop scene was all about a certain take-no-prisoners attitude, which if you ask me has become diluted and pussified by attention-starved do-gooder b-boys and skill-less MCs. The scenesters and hipsters have a strong take-no-shit attitude that I can appreciate. There’s been many a time and instance I had to put an all-too “I don’t give a fuck” attitude back into check. Sorry, but no one is too cool for saying “can I get through?” or “-‘scuse me.”

Not only in attitude, ‘Sters also have a preferred drug of choice. Hip-hop had pot, and the scene now is coke…yummy yummy booger sugar.

All in all, both scenes have as many similarities as they do dissimilarities. I find trends and fads to be necessary to the world. These counter-culture trends are our social fire. It gets rid of all the unwanted overgrowth of the mainstream and illuminates the path to trailblaze our existence into new directions. We need rebellion, we need to be shocked out of our comfort zones, and we need to be challenged on all levels. People being different than the norm, people who dare to go against what is customarily thought to be acceptable do this in the most basic of ways: by sight alone.

Our vision is the root of all our judgment, so when we see something that doesn’t quite fit into our schema- we have a problem, and that ain’t a bad thing. I predict some day we’ll all lose touch of our scene, whatever it might be, to whatever degree of rebelliousness, and we’ll see some kids dressed all crazy and weird and we’ll go “Is that the shaft of that boy’s penis? Are his pants so low that he’s showing peevage? That is… that’s dick neck! What’s the world coming to?” Good old ugly progress my friend. Let’s just hope I haven’t put that out in the universe so that my son walks in the house at sixteen like that. Ouch….

And always remember this, because it’s very important: Do vegans swallow? And do black men really cast the darkest shadows? Until next time.

Contact the author of this article or email tips@austinist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By truecraig in Other on July 27, 2007 2:03 PM 0 Comments

Comments [rss]

guest

I find trends and fads to be necessary to the world. These counter-culture trends are our social fire. It gets rid of all the unwanted overgrowth of the mainstream and illuminates the path to trailblaze our existence into new directions. We need rebellion, we need to be shocked out of our comfort zones, and we need to be challenged on all levels.

Music and fashion scenes exist to create new music and fashion. The world would be much less fun without these social-heirarchy-obsessed rich kids doing image R&D for the rest of us, but we'd still have Muhammad Yunus. Linus Pauling and Karl Marx never woke up in the morning, looked in the closet, and said, "Ach, my clothes are so boring, I'll never be able to transgress any intellectual boundaries today."

And what's with these people debating over whether hipsters are assholes? If a person weren't concerned for his own social prestige over all other things, would he be willing to dedicate all his money and intellectual energy to maintaining it? Wondering how many narcissistic jerks you'll find in a hipster bar is like wondering how many power-hungry workaholics you'll find in a board room.

guest

Actually the BB doesn't typically play electronica. Depending on the DJ and/or the band, the music is all over the map. BB isn't at all a techno-disco dance club.

I suspect no one would look at you funny at all if you went dressed like that.

guest

"it would take more bravery to (*non-ironically*) wear, say, an old navy tee, jeans, and flip-flops to the beauty bar than to put on your hipster costume. it takes no creativity whatsoever to walk into buffalo exchange, cream vintage, kick pleat, factory people (when it was open), or wherever and load up on stuff that's been pre-selected for you as "cool." you're just buying into those stores' fashion priorities instead of abercrombie's."

Everyone that thinks this hipster shit is ridiculous should pick a Saturday to show up at the Beauty Bar wearing clothes from Old Navy or Bell's or Wal Mart - whatever you got in the closet. I wonder if they'd even let us in. I wonder how many of those brave hipsters would scoff at us. I wonder if we'd even be able to stomach five minutes in that place listening to electronica.

piltdownman

One more thing... Ghostland Observatory has to be the most over-hyped Austin band I've heard in some time. While I like half the band (the one not playing guitar), the Simon Le Bon wannabe, Lenny Kravitz impersonator, other half (with his trite worn out lyrics and crappy guitar work) makes me wanna puke.

piltdownman

On a related note... Even though I've met some of these guys and they're perfectly nice people who play reasonably good music and they don't dress entirely silly, I have to agree with what cracked.com said about Austin's Voxtrot.

"Just looking at them, it’s hard not to get a pang of maternal concern for their fragility. They seem so innocent, so small. You can picture them shivering in the cold rain, smoking a clove outside a venue before one of their shows, tiny sweaters getting all wet. Then an elderly man walks by and drops his cane and accidentally crushes the entire band."

http://www.cracked.com/index.php?name=News&sid=1410&pageid=2

guest

the point is that dressing EXACTLY like every other hipster--which is what all the so-called "weird" hipster kids are doing--is NOT weird, brave, creative, or anything but conforming to a trend. dressing hipster is no more weird or original than dressing preppy. it's just another way to be a sheep. it would take more bravery to (*non-ironically*) wear, say, an old navy tee, jeans, and flip-flops to the beauty bar than to put on your hipster costume. it takes no creativity whatsoever to walk into buffalo exchange, cream vintage, kick pleat, factory people (when it was open), or wherever and load up on stuff that's been pre-selected for you as "cool." you're just buying into those stores' fashion priorities instead of abercrombie's.

and just cause it looks "different" don't mean it looks good: http://www.austinstylewatch.com/pics/20/1.jpg. let's hope that was a costume party...

guest

One thing that is good - it's good that they recognize that chunky little girls are cute too. Not when they're wearing sheer tights and a t-shirt as your site makes abundantly clear, but QP doll faced girls deserve to be recognized for having such pinchable cheeks.

guest

"brave". I guess my cat is "brave" when he chases people's shoelaces. I guess I was "brave" when I wore leggings as a child. See that's what's wrong with children today. Their parents told them they were right all the time and their coaches didn't let them lose and now they're all growns up and dumb as a ton of bricks.

guest

That's not bravery. You wouldn't say Bozo the Clown was brave because he faced scorn. Scorn is not what made Ghandi or Joan of Arc brave. Putting your life and all that you have on the line for your ideals or what you love is brave. Getting laughed at for dressing in a way that is not only unoriginal but hideous and copping an attitude is not brave in the least and you, sir, are mentally challenged if you believe that.

And I have to hate because you celebrate the clothes people wear as "brave" and "creative" when they are neither. You put these washed up brats on a pedistal when nothing they are doing is new, interesting, (although it is funny as hell) fun or creative. Fuck man! Grunge was more creative than this sloppy mess. These people are dressing like 80s fashion dolls and you think it's NEW?! Thinking this shit isn't some old retro throwback that these children are going to be embarassed to think of in 5 years is an insult to any original fashion trend of the past 40 years. Polyester pants and discoshirts are downright OFFENDED that you can't see that.

And you run a style site.... Shame on you.

guest

Its brave to dress differently because clearly it's bound to bring scorn from people as is demonstrated here. I still don't understand why this topic draws out such incredibly mean reactions in people. Maybe it's easy to just judge books by covers and not ever have to really get to know anyone. There are plenty of genres of music, books, art or even people I don't enjoy but I can at least take them at face value and enjoy them for what they are. It's brave to not be a slave to fashion magazines, or to be bound to trying to assimilate to the norm. In short..why you gotta hate?

Oh, and now that I'm not rushed on my lunch break, I'll spell it right so I can avoid more venom from this bitter crowd:

http://www.austinstylewatch.com

piltdownman

Let's make this discussion viral! I'll digg it and put it on reddit and del.icio.us as well.

guest

HA! hahahaha!

http://www.austinstylewatch.com/pages/17/3.html

guest

Or actually, this one cracked me up even worse:

http://www.austinstylewatch.com/pages/18/1.html

Ahhh! This site is great. Absolutely hilarious. I love it. Thank you, 38.

guest

HA! This made my day:

http://www.austinstylewatch.com/pages/20/6.html

guest

Oh holy fuck! I had no idea so many kids these days were colorblind! Those poor children! We should all pitch in and buy them glasses so that they can at least see what they're wearing even if they can't see what color it is!

That's funny that Mr. Austinstylewatch couldn't even spell his website correctly.

guest

hey thanks #38, now i have an idea as to wtf this is all about.

i'm more of a side bar patron, and i tend to not sit around staring at others (i go to bars to drink & hang with my friends)...so after seeing those pics, i have to ask: why oh why do they still sell leggings?

please, if you have any pics of girls (or anyone else) in stirrup pants... keep them to yourself.

guest

"Brave" - what a load of shit. Like bravery has anything to do with dressing up or down.

guest

Bravery and creativity? What's brave about dressing weird in this day and age. The only way to dress "bravely and creatively" is to pull a Patrick Bateman and dress like a yuppie.

guest

Can't believe it took me this long to weigh in on this topic. As the photographer for Austin Style Watch (http://www.austinstylwatch.com) I certainly capitalize on these hipsters. Yes, some of them look utterly ridiculous, but I admire the bravery and the creativity it takes to wear something that looks, different or even totally out of place. Even the outfits that are trendy or just plain hideous I still appreciate them because it's better than a world shaded only with denim, flip flops and tshirts. When you're hating on "the scene" I urge you to take a moment and figure out what's making you feel the way you do..is it because they're having more fun at their all night coke parties than you are? Because that gorgeous girl in the giant eighties glasses turned you down? Because they're young and beautiful with jobs that don't require them to cut their hair or wake up at 8am? Or because you don't understand what they're doing and have to hate what you don't get? I don't pretend to be part of that exclusive band of hipsters, but I'm glad they're here, making the city ecclectic and sartorially interesting.

But seriously though..the asymmetrical haircuts are getting way out of hand kids. Tone it down.

piltdownman

The latest trend seems to be looking like members of Journey or Grand Funk Railroad and their groupies. It's utterly contrived and repulsive.

I don't mind the BB on occasion (and oddly, I don't feel too out of place), but I detest DJ's (and patrons) who get into ridiculous music just for the sheer irony of it. I lived through the 80's as an adult (and the last half of the seventies for that matter) and nobody cool ever listened to Michael Jackson or Fleetwood Mac.

People with no sense of history bug the shit out of me. As do pastey, flabby (or overly scrawny) kids with over-priced silly haircuts and a sense of entitlement.

Yes, I am a curmudgeon, but it's an earned status (I suppose beside being a curmudgeon, I'm an arrogant one). I saw all those bands that shaped the music and fashion of today long before they became a silly (and corporate) commodity.

It's actually kind of sad that current culture is so bereft of originality...

guest

Oh yeah - you can see both at Jo's or Little City from 9-5 every weekday.

guest

This is my understanding of the situation -

Trustafarians are the kids who can wear dreadlocks and never bathe because they don't have to hold down a job. Either that or they take a part time at Wheatsville just to have people to talk to during the day. But even if they work, they really don't have to since they live off of a trust fund in a condo/house that mom and dad gave them as a present for graduating college. Althoguh they identify with a hippy lifestyle and smoke a lot of pot and want to end the war, they have no moral objection to driving a SUV or spending their parent's money on drugs. I know because I've seen them from the bus window. If you want to see some Trustafarians, catch them in their natural habitat at the Enchanted Forest or look on page two at the photo of Rasputina.

Hipsters - I don't know much about hipsters but I do know they are ruled by money and they change trends more than a little girl in Jr. High. Apparently right now all the womens are shaving their heads and dying them funky colors. The men folk look like Napolean Dynamite(?). They are obsessed with the 80s though nobody that lived through the 80s can understand why and they apparently do a lot of coke and dance weird. I don't know where you can see them, but I imagine the Beauty Bar and Spider House like the dude said.

guest

Trustafarians have a drug of choice outside of pot?

Scooby

Trustafarians goes back a lot farther than that. I remember hearing it in the early '90s. I had a trustafarian friend for a while, but he was a Nixon-era '70s wanna-be (pot was his drug of choice), not a '80s wanna-be.

guest

The oldest mention I can find for it on urbandictionary is 2002.

guest

Trustafarians is an old term. It goes back all the way at least to 2003.

guest

did the Trustafarians replace the Rockalectuals?

guest

I didn't get that at all. I got that he's always been an outsider observing this trend.

guest

So, he's "analyzing" it at the same time that he's slavishly imitating/participating in it?

guest

In response to Seth's post -

As subcultures emerge, there are always three types of people involved: 1) the kids that create it, 2) the kids that kill it, and 3) the kids that analyze it. Percy is obviously of the third category, not the second. I'd stop giving him lame advice.

Also, 29th and Guadalupe makes me want to puke.

Room 710

Speaking of irony, Room 710 has always found it ironic that the song Isn't It Ironic has nothing to do with what is technically considered irony.

guest

speaking of mcdonalds, theres a mcdonalds ad at the top of the austinist page as i write this

guest

to guest23:

So does wendys and mcdonalds. It's called 'franchise'.

How about this, we'll compare it to another bar chain: Coyote Ugly.

Except the girls at CU are prettier.

guest

beauty bar austin has local owners/investors...just sayin'.

guest

Please don't build a scene at Barfly's. It's fine the way it is.

guest

Beauty Bar is a corporate chain, for those who don't know. I find that kind of ironic.

seth

This piece makes the writer sound like someone upset at not being included or respected by a group he wants to be recognized by. Sorry for stating the obvious. If you can't hang with that crowd, bail and set up your own scene at one of the bars that's currently up for grabs. Like, what clique wants the Scoot Inn? How about Barfly's? Both those places are ripe for scene-building right about now.

Seth

guest

only thing worse than a hipster seeking self-validation is a non-hipster claiming they have it through putting down hipsters.

guest

#17: "Perhaps I am just too young and naive." Um, yes.

guest

i dress as a hipster and frequent the hipster establishments yet have never noticed anyone deliberately acting like an asshole to be "cool". bitches are bitches, and assholes are assholes, no matter how they dress. i personally have found the "grizzled jaded rock veteran" to be much more annoying and rude than any ridiculously dressed hipster, who though swamped in absurd coded lingo and spastic dancing have usually been nothing but polite or at least permissive toward others, even non-hipsters. perhaps i am just too young and naive.

guest

To sum up #15: Hipster girls are unapproachable, make others bitter.

guest

I've always found the hipster girls to be way worse than the hipster dudes. At Beauty Bar and Side Bar, it's not rare to hear chicks yelling at other girls through the bathroom door to get the fuck out and hurry up.

The flipside is the dudes are all buddy buddy, shooting the shit about how the Arcade Fire album has been on repeat for 3 months or how the Klaxons dude busted himself stage diving. And then they wait impatiently to piss and get another tallboy.

It's like the hipster outfits amplify the cattiness of girls. Maybe its that they KNOW their horrible looking backpiece and leg warmers are absolutely absurd, so they are mentally prepared to be picked on just like they (we) all were in junior high for being ugly.

That said: Who wants to go grab a beer and make fun of each other for being dressed like clowns?

guest

Damn straight #10.

Hipsters, the ones that take themselves too seriously (if you get mad at this, that means you), are typically jerks. C'mon, you know who I'm talking about. Even the hipsters know who I'm talking about. I thought this piece was great.

guest

They do have a good point. I never really has a problem with hipster assholes until around the time some genius made smoking in bars illegal.

guest

Right on, #10!

guest

Speaking of New York: http://www.timeout.com/newyork/article/4840/why-the-hipster-must-die

guest

The thing is, it's NOT the counter-culture. No "trend" that is appropriated by corporations to sell ipods and volkswagens is counter to the mainstream--it IS the mainstream. But I don't give a shit if folks want to wear skinny jeans and Joan Jett tees as long as they're FRIENDLY, and I certainly can't say that about most of the wandering hipster hoardes I see here. You hear people bitching about how Austin has changed? That's what they're talking about--imported attitudes from places where it's considered cool to be an asshole.

guest

Is it some kind of revelation that the drug of choice of an 80s-style hipster scene is cocaine? I know they all wish it was still priced the same as it was the 80s.

When we get around to resurrecting the 90s, maybe everyone will be shooting heroin while wearing flannels and Doc Martens. Because surely scene authenticity is of the utmost importance.

guest

But yeah, the 80s were played and electronic music sucked ass the first time. But those who were not born yet are doomed to repeat the past.

But still, they should be allowed to wear whatever they want as long as their junk isn't hanging out the side for all to see.

guest

I think he's saying the music isn't good. Not that it isn't isn't as comical.

guest

I wish everyone could just wear whatever color thong they wanted to and none of you divas would look at them twice.

guest

Zeus,

Are you saying the music currently IS as comical as the swing revival? Or it IS NOT as comical?

Because my opinion would be that Hot Chip is worse than Squirrel Nut Zippers, and I fucking hated them with a passion.

And the outfits currently worn by people at Beauty Bar, particularly the women, are fucking comical. Raiding my grandmothers' closets for potato sack looking dresses and dangling huge gaudy beaded shit isn't remotely attractive (and it wasn't cool when dudes raided my grandfathers' closets for stupid hats to wear while dancing to swing music).

truecraig

To be clear, this column is not ME writing. Until we get Percy in the system, I have to push his posts on through.

bob

I can't tell if this writer is taking him/herself seriously or just taking the piss. Either way, this reads just like Nathan Barley.

guest

A hipster anthropologist? Or a hipster apologist?

heyzeus

So are you mocking the hipster movement, despite copping to be part of it?

In the end, if the music isn't good, this will all look as comical as the swing revival of the mid 90s.

And....it isn't.